Day 44: Why I Am an Overcomer

Some days, God tests me.

The following is very spiritually involved, so if you're not interested in that sort of thing, I give you permission to overlook that bit. But still read on, you may learn something.

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I am a huge Joyce Meyer fan. I think she is hysterical, and preaches a good message most times she speaks. I admit there are times when I've turned off the program because I wasn't yet ready to hear what she had to say. But most of the time, she brings it on home.

God seems to like it when I watch Joyce on the internet and seems to give me "homework" after viewing one of her shows. As in, well you've learned the lesson mentally, so let's see if you can put it into practice.

One of my favorite lessons by her is not to become offended at oneself. To become determined that no matter what kind of things are thrown in your way, to not become derailed from the purpose that God has called you to. She advocates being active and articulating things aloud, and she mentions having a very determined sit-down with herself and saying that she is NOT going to be kept by the devil from enjoying her life. She said there was a shift in her attitude from that point on.

Well, I experienced a more benign but similar episode today. For whatever reason, this nagging feeling inside me was that I was a loser and I was a horrible runner. I don't usually think that, normally I'm so excited to be running I can look past the fact that I'm slow. It nagged on and when I got to the hard part of my run,  I was fighting it and just so disappointed that I was, in my opinion, too slow. Eventually, it got intense and I just said to myself for about 5 minutes, "I'm an overcomer," like the Mandisa song. Sometimes I had to say it to myself more harshly than other times, sometimes I had to yell (to myself) at the devil that he was NOT going to take me down. About halfway through my cool down my insistence took, and I realized that yes, I was an overcomer, and yes, I was good at what I did. I decided to continue walking and put in an additional 35 second run at high speed. My total was 1.70 miles, 495 kcals, and 40:18, 9 minutes over the C25K time. :-) I also found out that I had beaten my original fast pace on the run at 2.7 mph instead of my usual 2.3.

After my run. Day 32/50 and 23.2 miles into the Lazy Girl Marathon! :-)

 

 

Mandisa has also put out a series of pictures on her website, and I have used one of those repeatedly on my page. This is the picture in question:

I can't even tell you how many times I've felt that way on the elliptical, lol. :-) But it just means that everyone who has been on a weight loss journey at some point has felt like that picture. But thank God that we are overcomers and have Someone who has overcome even the worst of circumstances. So, if you feel like giving up sometimes, remember that Christ has made us more than conquerors and we can overcome anything! :-)

I hope everyone has a terrific day. True to form, I'm going back to chem homework, lol. Be blessed everyone! :-)

Day 41: New Running Records

I did NOT want to run this morning. Do you ever have those mornings, where the body is somewhat willing and the spirit says forget it? That was me this morning. I made excuses, numerous ones that were somewhat satisfying to me, but none of them really fit the mood I was in.

Let me explain.

I can't get past 207. I have been trying to get past 207 for some time, and it goes up to 208 as soon as it gets there. No clue why, I am almost positive this time it was water weight after my lunch date with my best friend, but still, after a few days of consistent weight loss, it gets stuck at 207 again! I'm determined to push past that number, even if it takes a little tweaking of my diet.

Anyhoo, seeing that number ticked me off and I did NOT want to run. I just wanted to take a rest day and veg.  But like I said, none of them really fit the bill. I decided I would just quit my drama and lace up my shoes for my run.

I ran C25K W4D1, which was composed of a 3-minute jog followed by a 90-second break, then a 5-minute jog followed by a 2.5 minute walk, repeated twice. I'm not going to lie, that was a difficult run. There were times when I was panting so hard I thought people would think I was having an asthma attack. Still, I made it through, walked for an extra 5 minutes, and then ran back to my car, for a grand total of 37:45 or so. I burned 464 calories and walked/ran 1.55 miles.

That was a new record for me. :-) I have only run about 1.32-1.46 in the past, even with the shorter bursts of running when I was at a higher (much higher, lol) speed. I was excited for that, and even more so that I got out and broke records when I was in a horrible mood. Which goes to show you, even if it sucks sometimes, you can still get it done. :-)

Me after the run that almost wasn't. Ignore the lip funkiness, I get it every time I run.

 

I am sooo looking forward to the rest of my day as well! The fiancé is spending the night for my birthday and we will go out tonight and tomorrow. :-) I think we are going bowling and out to eat. And he apparently has an awesome present for me that he got through the mail that apparently has his name on it. :-D Either way, I'm totally looking forward to seeing him and getting some interesting presents. Today while I'm hanging out on my own (fiancé has to work til 4) I will probably goof around and do some chem homework. :-) I seem to be nice and ahead on my chem homework, and even got a 95 on my exam! I do need to do some makeup work on the lab though, cause I was a goof and totally forgot I had class! Way to go, Shelly. Either way, got some work to make up, lol. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day! I know I will. Be blessed, and don't be stressed! xx

Day 39.5: A Day Out on the Town and More Supplementing Goodness

That may be the longest post title I've ever had, lol. It's reminiscent of "Standing Outside a Broken Telephone Booth With Money In My Hands." I can never remember who sang it, but they sampled BB King, which is always super cool in my book. :-)

Anyhoo, I went to the Big River Running Co shop out in O'Fallon, and realized I had totally passed it twice yesterday. It was a fun place to go, but I didn't see anything I wanted and everything was too expensive, so I went on to a few other places. I went to Sports Authority and got some Nuun tabs. They were not too bad, definitely an acquired taste though since I'm not really used to carbonated drink tabs. It was an early birthday present to myself. :-)

I also took some packages to the UPS shop for my mom, and in return got a fairly large chunk of change to spend. And where do I go? To S2, of course, because my paycheck is irresistibly drawn to the awesomeness. I decided to go all out, I got some protein powder in Chocolate Coconut, and some DHA to replace my almost empty bottle. I also got one of those shaker cups with the S2 logo on it. Thankfully, the guys were nice and decided to let me sample some of the powder, and it was super good! I have had so many issues with protein powder in the past, it made my stomach hurt like a mofo and just looked and tasted disgusting. I tried the Vega powder before and it was absolutely nasty, didn't mix well and made a gritty nasty mix in the bottom of the cup. Tried making a smoothie out of it and that just made it worse. :-( But I tried the ice cream sandwich one the other day and it was... okay, maybe a little too sweet for my liking. :-) But I tried this one and it was much better. Not as overkill sweet as the protein bars either, which I hear are not as good since the protein is denatured and doesn't really work then.

My awesome shaker thingie. Now you know what S2 means.

I also got out my old 5-HTP bottle, since I brought it up with the other guy (I think his name may be Bart, but I'm not sure) and he was saying how it made him in a better mood. I took one and I actually feel quite nice, and relaxed since DHA/EPA always makes me a little bit more relaxed. I think with all the goodness, I have finally found a very comfortable combination of supplements. And needless to say, all my non-WL supplements when the B12 runs out will come from there! :-) They are a lot less expensive than Whole Foods.

I also also (hehe) went to Gold's Gym for my second round of workouts. I figure that if you have a 3-day pass to the place you might as well use it as much as you can. :-) I did a few calf raises and leg extensions (cause apparently today was leg day, lol) and I tried the rower machine. I had never used one before and it felt really good to try one out. I made it to around 22:30 on the rower, which was not bad for a first time, and I burned around 132 calories. It's a pretty good workout and low intensity as well, so its good if you have knee or back problems (or in my case just completed a leg day workout, lol) and want a workout.

I have had so much fun today, and I even ordered some goodies from the Sweat Pink catalog, so if anyone wants some awesome-sauce pink shoelaces, I will give them to you for the price I paid for them ($0). I will probably order the tank top eventually for running, but for now I want to make sure that Bryan and I have enough money to go bowling, lol. :-) I am so geeked out about seeing him this weekend and my best friend on Friday, it will be a super awesome birthday weekend. :-)

I hope everyone has a most excellent day! Me, I will chill and type some chemistry notes, since I need to catch up a bit on the class I missed. (Yes, I totally FORGOT about class. I have never done that before! I was at the gym and I was like, something's missing from my day, I'm not sure what...) Be blessed all, and sleep well! :-)

Day 36.5: I Suck At Cheating

Well, folks, guess I've converted to the light side. :-) I lost my good VeganDHA blend today, which will cost a small fortune to replace if I get that same brand. Fortunately, I have a number of things that can fill the void, since I've been actively supplementing since 2008, but still, it's annoying when you can't find your stuff. :-D

I sat through the review session before Wednesday's exam, getting vaguely annoyed with the fact that people kept on asking if something was going to be on the exam or not, like percentages of naturally-occurring isotopes and their specific atomic weights. If you were to memorize all those percentages for the 60-70 elements we have to learn for the test in an Introductory Chem class, please, teach me all your mad memorization skills, lol. :-D Anyhoo, I left feeling somewhat stressed out even though my questions were answered quite thoroughly.

It's easy when you're in the vicinity of half a dozen or so unhealthy restaurants, to want to partake. I mean, there are two within less than a mile of the college. But, for some reason the urge to partake just wasn't that overpowering. Sure, I was a bit peckish especially after my professor started using food in the chemical equations (those are actually fun problems but they make you hungry!), and a little stressed from all the business from earlier in the day, but honestly I didn't really want it that badly and went home to chill with some water and a few toasted almonds.

I have been corrupted. :-D

Normally, with unlimited funds and lack of willpower, I would have gotten the biggest thing of chicken nuggets on the menu at Chik-Fil-A and chowed down like there was no tomorrow. I would have not felt any buyer's remorse or anything, I would have been happy for the time being. I used to eat two meals a day from McD's at my heavier size (if you could call it a meal) and think nothing of it. Now, it just feels completely weird to me to even consider fast food or any food out in general. Even on my birthday Bryan and I will probably use the fundages Mom and Dad are giving us to eat out and go bowling instead or mini-golfing or something like that. :-) The weather is supposed to be nice so we may make some light dishes and go out to Castlewood for a picnic. Either way, my mom and dad's way of celebrating and our way is like night and day.

But, even though I suck at cheating, I like the person I am. I don't feel gross and crawl around the house all day, living from meal to meal. I don't get upset about not having money as much because it isn't really a huge necessity. You have no idea how bad your eating habits have gotten until you see your monthly bank statement and it's almost 100 percent restaurants! It has freed up a significant chunk of change. So has quitting soda, I paid $14 for my Tervis cup and I've been using it for a month just filling up wherever I needed to get water. :-) I found a soul jumbled up there in all those malfunctioning organs and fat folds, and I kinda like her. :-D

Anyhoo, I gotta get back to studying and doing some arm and ab/squat workouts! I hope everyone has a fantastic day and stays cool, cause it's a hot one. Be blessed!

Day 33.5: Still Getting it Done

I realized that maybe I should back off on the drama just a touch. Don't ask me how I know this-- just take my word for it. :-)

Anyhoo, I had a better day after the beginning of the day. I held true to the 30-minute intervals for the most part, and decided if I was going to do 30 minutes then I was going to do the best dangum 30 minutes I could. I got 7.50 miles in in 31:12 minutes the first time, and got 8.04 miles in 30:12 minutes the second run. That was pretty hardcore though, even in that 30 minutes the butt went completely numb. I got to around 89-90 rpm I believe, whatever 16.00 mph is in RPM. I usually go a little lighter than that, around 15.33-15.71 mph at my fastest.

I get out a lot of pent up rage the faster I bike and the more aggressive the music. The first session I had Joyce Meyer on and I was laughing hysterically because she decided to demonstrate that she has the same set of issues that we do by reading a few entries from a journal she kept. Some of them were kind of sad, since she has an aging mom and aunt (her dad passed away in 2005 I believe) and they have all kinds of issues. Some were downright hilarious, like when she couldn't find her pants in the spa after going to get dressed and had to go into the hotel lobby in a robe and ask if anyone had seen her pants. I have never laughed so hard in my life! I know she's a televangelist, but she is hysterical! The second session was a little different, I had been mulling over a lot of things and more issues had come up, and I switched over from the tobymac radio to the Rob Zombie radio (cause I'm awesome that way) and just rode it out.

I let the anger from the morning push me harder. I pushed as hard as I could and I got off the bike at 30 minutes and my legs and butt were completely numb, I almost couldn't feel my lower half at all. But that only lasted for a few minutes, and then the amazement set in. I had burned 200 kcals in 30 minutes! I was biking 3:57 minute miles most of the time. And now, I feel a whole lot better. There is something quite awesome about pushing yourself to the limit and living to tell the tale. :-)

I got another 100 on my chemistry homework. It is the second 100 I had since the beginning of the semester. I got an 88 on one homework, and I have been averaging A's on all my Chem labs. I'm not sure if I got kicked out of PTK when I had all the issues with my family and with the massive meds fails, but I am for sure going to appeal it, and let them know what happened if I did get put on probation. Cause I love my PTK folks and I'll probably spend the rest of my semesters chasing that 4.0, but it is totally worth it to me. I love getting A's, especially in a subject I almost flunked in high school (what can I say, it was hard for me to concentrate! :-) ). I am realizing how much I truly enjoy chemistry, but I'm not sure if I want to major in Chemistry or Biology when all is said and done. I like them both! :-)

I don't have any sweat pics tonight! I just didn't get around to taking them tonight. But here are the ones from this morning:

I haven't worn that shirt for a pic in awhile, but I have worn it in the past, and it didn't look that loose fersure! I have a blue one that I love to wear as well, with the kitty cat dance. If you haven't seen it, YouTube it. It is hilarious. :-)

Well, I hope everyone has a great night. I'm about to dive into some more chemistry-related awesomeness. Be blessed!

Day 33: New Scales and Old Demons

It's been an interesting, up-and-down day. I won't get into all the particulars, but let's just say it's been interesting and leave it at that. All kinds of things went wrong and all kinds of things went right.

Anyhoo, I went running for day 22/50 over at the gym. I will probably be running in the gym for the next few days just because it is supposed to be ridiculously hot and I don't really want to miss my run but don't want to die doing it either. :-) I ran about a mile and a half on the treadmill, which is not bad considering I've only run about 1.46 miles while out on the track including both the warm-up and cool down. I did more like 1.51 today on the treadmill and had a top speed of 4.1 mph. I think it's safe to say I no longer walk and run at the same speed. Cause honestly, I have to slow the treadmill down when I get close to ending my interval because the thing's going so fast that if I try to walk on it, it'll take me out with the garbage, lol! :-D So that's a major accomplishment right there.

Speaking of major accomplishments, I went out to Wal-Mart today and bought a scale. It's not a fancy scale, but it at least reads better than my mom's evil thing that'll give you a 5-7 lb deviation depending on where you stand on it. I tried my new scale out and then went back for a second weigh-in, and it gave me the same measure: 212.2. I guess that's not bad considering it's a new scale, but I would have liked to see a lower weight. Ah well, that is the whole reason why I don't use the scale to begin with. I start obsessing over the weight and wondering why it keeps staying higher than I like, without realizing I've put on about 3 lbs of muscle just by running every day. It sucks! So I have the scale but I'm not touching it for another few days. Next Wednesday I'll be able to see a bit of differential and see if I need to make adjustments in my schedule or add some different types of workouts in. :-)

My awesome scale. I wish this was my weight on the side! :-)

 

I seem to be getting better at balancing the schoolwork/real life/exercise aspects of things much better. I always tended to lean towards one thing or another, no real balancing act involved. But if I have learned anything on my journey to weight loss it's leading a more balanced lifestyle. My diet was definitely the first part of that, because I eat a balanced diet. A lot of protein, decent amount of carbs, and lots of fruits of and veggies. The way I sometimes talk about my diet, a lot of folks assume it's a low-carb, low-fat diet. And to a certain degree that is definitely true. But the important thing is finding balance. I've also (mostly) stopped the five-hour studying binges. I know it sounds weird to call studying a binge but I have seriously spent all day studying for a class when there isn't even an exam coming up! Now, I try to study when I get some time to do so and yes, I still type notes from the book. :-D

 

The exercise balance... well, I'm learning. The interval training has been my best friend because my natural inclination is to run/bike and keep adding time until I get so exhausted I just quit doing it altogether. I was actually very close to quitting training until I discovered C25K and interval training on the bike. So I am definitely not leaving the gym crying anymore because I can't seem to maintain a 22-minute running time seven days into the process! I run/walk for 30-35 minutes and that seems to work for me a lot better. I have been trying to pace myself on the bike after a rather lengthy and heated discussion with my better (much better) half about why I knew what I was doing and didn't need his advice. And what do I do? I listen to him and pace myself and everything's fine again.

 

Real life balance is always a challenge for me because let's face it, I had a lot of imbalance most of my life. I have been fighting the residual demons of PTSD and childhood sexual abuse for a lot of my life, and trying to reestablish my equilibrium even to this point has taken me almost 20 years! That's why there is a great pleasure for me in treating my body well and making sure that I give it some TLC as well. Most of my life I have been punishing myself I guess, for ending up in the situations I did and in a way saddling a lot of the blame that I really didn't need to. It isn't so much about learning to love myself in a balanced way as it is to love myself at all. But I am getting there, slowly but surely. :-)

 

Wow, deep stuff today, lol! :-) I hope everyone was able to wade through that emotional baggage. I will be back later on in the day, I suppose, hopefully with a little less seriousness. Have a great day all!