I ran 21 minutes on what I have now figured out is my "unlucky" treadmill. I usually use the brand new treadmill that my gym has because it's my favorite. I can go 20 minutes plus at 3.2 mph. Today that treadmill was taken and there was an insane amount of people in the gym for it being a Sunday, so I decided to suck it up and go on the little-bitty treadmill adjacent to the door. It was a dinky thing and wouldn't have allowed me to stick my arms at my sides if I was any wider. And man... I couldn't even get above 3.0, was sweating profusely and grabbing the side bars some of the time (I hate doing that... it's wimpy running, lol!). Next time, I'm using my lucky treadmill and knocking out 22 minutes! :-)
I also went to church for the first time in six months to a year. Before, I am ashamed to say I had ulterior motives for going to church, but now I go cause I like the people there and totally enjoy the church's minister. He shouts a lot and is very interesting to listen to. Today he spoke on joy, and how we have joy through having a relationship with Christ and how sometimes things may be rough but Christ wins in the end, citing extensive passages from Revelation. I always thought Revelation was super cool, with Christ riding in on a white horse to save the world. I don't know how literal Revelation is but I think it would be super cool to see Jesus ride in on a white horse and banish Satan to the Lake of Fire. God sure does know how to write an awesome epic. :-D
Tonight I'm going to a potluck supper at the church. I don't have any food for it, but I am looking forward to fellowshipping and getting to know some of the people at my church. I know some of the people in my Sunday School classes, I know the people I sit with on the right side of the church, and I know the associate pastor and music minister, but potlucks are fun because you get to know a variety of people. I just have to, as my 11th grade Geometry teacher often said when we left, make good choices! Eat less and fellowship more. Should be interesting to put my social and eating skills to the test, lol.
Well, I've got to get back to chemistry homework, which was what I got online to do to begin with! :-D I hope everyone has a blessed day and I will see you guys tomorrow! :-)
Showing posts with label reconciliation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reconciliation. Show all posts
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Day 20: 20th Day, 20 minutes!!
I'm so ridiculously psyched. I just ran for the "elusive" 20 minutes and for my first mile! Well, technically a mile and a tenth, but who's counting, right? :-D
My day started out kind of sucky. I have been doing things right but since I got off antidepressants I am ridiculously stuck at 217 again. I just think I will be at this weight for awhile, until my body gets used to being off antidepressants. Either way, to see the same number on the scale everyday is super frustrating! I reluctantly went running, still a bit upset from the scale number. I listen to Christian radio a lot of the time on the way to my run, and Third Day's "I Need a Miracle" came on. I said to God, kind of flippantly, "A miracle would be good." I was just being silly, but God gave me some amazing things to be thankful for. I'll share some with you:
1) I can see! (And just getting new specs, you really appreciate being able to see.)
2) I can hear moderately well.
3) I can walk.
4) I can run like nobody's business.
5) I have good things to eat.
6) I have clean water and will not get sick if I drink tons of it.
7) I am doing well at college.
And the list goes on... but my spirits were incredibly lifted. I felt energized and happy and I knocked out 20 minutes on the treadmill! God is good.
Oh, speaking of new specs, here is a photo of me with said new specs:
My day started out kind of sucky. I have been doing things right but since I got off antidepressants I am ridiculously stuck at 217 again. I just think I will be at this weight for awhile, until my body gets used to being off antidepressants. Either way, to see the same number on the scale everyday is super frustrating! I reluctantly went running, still a bit upset from the scale number. I listen to Christian radio a lot of the time on the way to my run, and Third Day's "I Need a Miracle" came on. I said to God, kind of flippantly, "A miracle would be good." I was just being silly, but God gave me some amazing things to be thankful for. I'll share some with you:
1) I can see! (And just getting new specs, you really appreciate being able to see.)
2) I can hear moderately well.
3) I can walk.
4) I can run like nobody's business.
5) I have good things to eat.
6) I have clean water and will not get sick if I drink tons of it.
7) I am doing well at college.
And the list goes on... but my spirits were incredibly lifted. I felt energized and happy and I knocked out 20 minutes on the treadmill! God is good.
Oh, speaking of new specs, here is a photo of me with said new specs:
I totally love them! They make me look so stinkin' cute. And I had to wait 4 days to get them so I'm very grateful to have them. I'm also grateful because my original glasses broke 3 months ago and I wasn't able to replace them. I wore a pair that I wore when I was 15 and I couldn't see very well AT ALL. So now my scrip is the intended power and I can see just fine. (By the way, excuse the lack of makeup and the post-workout hair. I had just done a workout and when you sweat profusely, makeup is a bad idea!)
I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I know I will. God bless!
Friday, August 23, 2013
Day 19: Ch-ch-changes
First of all, love that song! :-)
I have been noticing some changes. Today I ran 15 consecutive minutes and was actually running longer than anyone else in the gym! They were doing running/walking intervals and I was powering away on that run like a total beast. That felt so awesome. I used to be the chica not even going above 3.0 on the treadmill. I watched everyone else run and I wanted to do it so bad. Now, I'm slower than them but leaving them in the dust as far as time.
I have been opening my mind to religion as well. I have not had good experiences with churches because I am SO different than most of the people there, I am very matter-of-fact and I ask a lot of questions which sometimes gets on people's nerves. Besides, I have struggled with a number of sins in the past that are too personal to share and I was always embarrassed to come to church because I was afraid someone would find out and be judgmental towards me. Because of that, I built up walls and pushed people away in church so they wouldn't see my sins. Silly logic, I know, but when you're scared you do some dumb stuff.
I have a Joyce Meyer obsession. I have mentioned it in previous entries and it still holds true. I'm not like hanging out in Fenton trying to find her or anything, but I do watch her show every morning and read some of her books. There is this series she has done that literally took 3 times before I could watch it all the way through because it was so hard to wrap my head around. It was about deception and compromise, a very meaty sermon indeed. That wasn't really the part that got me. She says towards the end of the first part of the sermon, "Listen, God can give you a better life than the one you're living now." It's ironic, because right now I think I have a great life and an awesome thing going for me. I thought, "I could have an even better life WITH God? I have a great life now, and that must mean with God it will be even more awesome!" Naivety, yes, but get over it. We all have our catalysts.
So, with that in mind I am putting a different bend on this website. Since Vegan365 is going the way of the dodo bird (sorry, all of you that are fans, it is going down later this afternoon), I am changing the name of the site. It will be called: Girl on Fire: From Underdog to Beastmode. I'm so excited about the name change and the lifestyle change and I'm excited to share it with you!
I hope all of you have a blessed day and enjoy life!
I have been noticing some changes. Today I ran 15 consecutive minutes and was actually running longer than anyone else in the gym! They were doing running/walking intervals and I was powering away on that run like a total beast. That felt so awesome. I used to be the chica not even going above 3.0 on the treadmill. I watched everyone else run and I wanted to do it so bad. Now, I'm slower than them but leaving them in the dust as far as time.
I have been opening my mind to religion as well. I have not had good experiences with churches because I am SO different than most of the people there, I am very matter-of-fact and I ask a lot of questions which sometimes gets on people's nerves. Besides, I have struggled with a number of sins in the past that are too personal to share and I was always embarrassed to come to church because I was afraid someone would find out and be judgmental towards me. Because of that, I built up walls and pushed people away in church so they wouldn't see my sins. Silly logic, I know, but when you're scared you do some dumb stuff.
I have a Joyce Meyer obsession. I have mentioned it in previous entries and it still holds true. I'm not like hanging out in Fenton trying to find her or anything, but I do watch her show every morning and read some of her books. There is this series she has done that literally took 3 times before I could watch it all the way through because it was so hard to wrap my head around. It was about deception and compromise, a very meaty sermon indeed. That wasn't really the part that got me. She says towards the end of the first part of the sermon, "Listen, God can give you a better life than the one you're living now." It's ironic, because right now I think I have a great life and an awesome thing going for me. I thought, "I could have an even better life WITH God? I have a great life now, and that must mean with God it will be even more awesome!" Naivety, yes, but get over it. We all have our catalysts.
So, with that in mind I am putting a different bend on this website. Since Vegan365 is going the way of the dodo bird (sorry, all of you that are fans, it is going down later this afternoon), I am changing the name of the site. It will be called: Girl on Fire: From Underdog to Beastmode. I'm so excited about the name change and the lifestyle change and I'm excited to share it with you!
I hope all of you have a blessed day and enjoy life!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Day 18.5: Finding New Confidence
It's amazing how you find yourself when you lose weight.
I have found by losing weight I have suddenly felt like I should not ever, EVER settle and I have been telling people I know that, probably to the point of annoyance at times. :-D But there is a story behind my obsessive use of the phrase "Never settle," and I feel like I have reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable sharing a little bit more of myself.
-----
My weight has only been an issue for me since I was 14. Before that, I was as active as could be. I was a moderately accomplished gymnast and tried to be a cheerleader until a self-confidence and knee blowout ended that venture. :-) I also ice skated and played soccer, basketball, and softball. I was never good, but I loved it.
I don't want to get into the particulars of my childhood, but there were some issues that caused me to gain weight. I ended up putting on over 100 lbs in a short amount of time.
I finally got to the breaking point the first time when I hit 240. At 5'3" (fun sized!) that was a hard pill to swallow and my body was showing the effects. I lost 51 lbs, getting down to 189, but I gained it all back after ending an abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. It was very hard for me, as was the death of my maternal grandma, and I'm just now emptying the last piece of that emotional baggage.
I went to see a psychiatrist for occasional depression and panic attacks, and found out I had residual post-traumatic stress disorder from that relationship. He seemed to think I had daddy issues (I do, my dad is way too awesome! It's killing me! :-D) and tried to get me out of my parents' house. I moved way too fast, found a job where I got scammed and lost over $2000, and it pretty much imploded. I'm still unpacking those bags.
So, all that culminated into a very frustrating time of it. I became moderately depressed, and one day I went to the library hoping to find the latest book to change my life (aren't we all guilty of this from time to time, lol?) and found out that the answer was in my lap. I had my BMR Bliss meds and needed to take them for the day. I had reached into the passenger seat to grab the bottle and it said in pretty font, "Never Settle."
Suddenly, I realized that was what I had been doing my whole life. I had been settling into everyone's mold of me, I let everyone push me around, I didn't take care of myself, and I had just been settling. Now was the time to change. I pulled into the gym on the way home and the rest is history. :-)
------
I hope that gives you a better understanding of what I've been through. I really hope that I can encourage you to do the same. Well, maybe not with the roller coaster of emotions it took me to get there, but I want to encourage you to never settle for less than what you're worth. Don't let anyone tell you negative things about you. You were put on this Earth for a reason, and that was not to give up! :-)
I hope this has encouraged you tonight. I hope you have a great evening.
I have found by losing weight I have suddenly felt like I should not ever, EVER settle and I have been telling people I know that, probably to the point of annoyance at times. :-D But there is a story behind my obsessive use of the phrase "Never settle," and I feel like I have reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable sharing a little bit more of myself.
-----
My weight has only been an issue for me since I was 14. Before that, I was as active as could be. I was a moderately accomplished gymnast and tried to be a cheerleader until a self-confidence and knee blowout ended that venture. :-) I also ice skated and played soccer, basketball, and softball. I was never good, but I loved it.
I don't want to get into the particulars of my childhood, but there were some issues that caused me to gain weight. I ended up putting on over 100 lbs in a short amount of time.
I finally got to the breaking point the first time when I hit 240. At 5'3" (fun sized!) that was a hard pill to swallow and my body was showing the effects. I lost 51 lbs, getting down to 189, but I gained it all back after ending an abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. It was very hard for me, as was the death of my maternal grandma, and I'm just now emptying the last piece of that emotional baggage.
I went to see a psychiatrist for occasional depression and panic attacks, and found out I had residual post-traumatic stress disorder from that relationship. He seemed to think I had daddy issues (I do, my dad is way too awesome! It's killing me! :-D) and tried to get me out of my parents' house. I moved way too fast, found a job where I got scammed and lost over $2000, and it pretty much imploded. I'm still unpacking those bags.
So, all that culminated into a very frustrating time of it. I became moderately depressed, and one day I went to the library hoping to find the latest book to change my life (aren't we all guilty of this from time to time, lol?) and found out that the answer was in my lap. I had my BMR Bliss meds and needed to take them for the day. I had reached into the passenger seat to grab the bottle and it said in pretty font, "Never Settle."
Suddenly, I realized that was what I had been doing my whole life. I had been settling into everyone's mold of me, I let everyone push me around, I didn't take care of myself, and I had just been settling. Now was the time to change. I pulled into the gym on the way home and the rest is history. :-)
------
I hope that gives you a better understanding of what I've been through. I really hope that I can encourage you to do the same. Well, maybe not with the roller coaster of emotions it took me to get there, but I want to encourage you to never settle for less than what you're worth. Don't let anyone tell you negative things about you. You were put on this Earth for a reason, and that was not to give up! :-)
I hope this has encouraged you tonight. I hope you have a great evening.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Day Seven: Down (Almost) Fifteen Pounds!
Yeah, I know it hasn't technically been seven days, but with work and the other blog I have been struggling to keep up with this blog as well. Still, I will definitely try to keep working on posts on this site whenever I can.
I can't believe that I am almost down 15 pounds since starting the BMR Bliss Pack. I am very glad to have some weight off, even though most of it has been just from not eating and working all day. I definitely love my job 99.99 percent of the time but sometimes it just gets on my nerves, lol. Last night was interesting because there were only two of us and my co-worker was off hiding somewhere and there was often a 5-or-6 customer line. Thankfully during the day the managers are around to catch the slackers but it happens, I suppose.
I found out today that someone has paid one of my restaurant bills. I took Bryan out to eat at a restaurant and paid for a delicious pizza and pretzels, and I found out that it has been struck from the record for one reason or another, freeing up some money for other things. This definitely must be a God thing, cause I was shocked to see my bank account at the number it was.
Yes, I have been corrupted and have been seeking God more. Normally my spiritual mind is like a 5-year-old on a playground, going from one thing to the next without being interested in any one thing in particular. Save the really hardcore conservative and nature religions, I've probably tried it at least once.
I still don't like churches. When I was in college I got kicked out of a college ministry for being a bit of a dingbat and I have never quite forgotten that yucky feeling. Besides, to me it seems like churches are hotbeds for cliques and exclusivity. Nevertheless, I have been enjoying praying and watching Joyce Meyer on TV, and I hope eventually something will come of it. But in the meantime I am living in the moment.
I hope everyone has a good day. Mine is off to a good start already. :)
-S
I can't believe that I am almost down 15 pounds since starting the BMR Bliss Pack. I am very glad to have some weight off, even though most of it has been just from not eating and working all day. I definitely love my job 99.99 percent of the time but sometimes it just gets on my nerves, lol. Last night was interesting because there were only two of us and my co-worker was off hiding somewhere and there was often a 5-or-6 customer line. Thankfully during the day the managers are around to catch the slackers but it happens, I suppose.
I found out today that someone has paid one of my restaurant bills. I took Bryan out to eat at a restaurant and paid for a delicious pizza and pretzels, and I found out that it has been struck from the record for one reason or another, freeing up some money for other things. This definitely must be a God thing, cause I was shocked to see my bank account at the number it was.
Yes, I have been corrupted and have been seeking God more. Normally my spiritual mind is like a 5-year-old on a playground, going from one thing to the next without being interested in any one thing in particular. Save the really hardcore conservative and nature religions, I've probably tried it at least once.
I still don't like churches. When I was in college I got kicked out of a college ministry for being a bit of a dingbat and I have never quite forgotten that yucky feeling. Besides, to me it seems like churches are hotbeds for cliques and exclusivity. Nevertheless, I have been enjoying praying and watching Joyce Meyer on TV, and I hope eventually something will come of it. But in the meantime I am living in the moment.
I hope everyone has a good day. Mine is off to a good start already. :)
-S
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Week One, Day 1: The Beginning
I abused my body for way too many years. I had a few traumatic events in my life but I don't think it was the cause of my weight issues. A lot of people who have similar events have residual issues dealing with them, but fortunately that was never the case with me. I definitely had self-esteem issues, but I think it was just because I underwent dramatic changes, going from very skinny to very overweight in a short amount of time. I try not to hold too many things against too many people. They are human and have their own issues as well.
Anyway, after burning way too many bridges in my life, I am trying to make right some of the things that have gone wrong in my life. I am treating my body with respect and dignity, and I'm treating my family and friends with the same respect and dignity.
This will not be a whiny blog. I am not the type who wants to lament about how no one was good to me and my dad never hugged me and whatnot. I have some great people in my life and I hug my dad regularly.
Here's what I will do though: I want to be able to empower others to make the same good choices in their lives. I will be open and honest, but respectful. I will not be too flowery or new-agey (I apologize for my departure in this post) but will still be encouraging. I hope you will comment on my blog and share your own stories because I love making friends.
So, let's kick some butt and take names, shall we?
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