Day 27.5: Encouraging News!

I have discovered the run/walk combo, and it was good.

I originally started out adding a consecutive minute each day to my run, until I got to 22 minutes and was so exhausted when I got done I could barely walk. After 16 days of doing this, my knees were burning and literally everything on my body hurt. This was even when I wasn't running!

I have a friend from high school who is totally rocking it and is about to start a running program. She is doing C25K, and is off to a very good start. :-) But she was running/walking it, and I have to admit that it was on my mind. I started off on the run intending to tough it out for 15 minutes. But instead, I decided to run 3-4 minutes, and walk 2 minutes. Sometimes I walked less than that, but I was getting so out of breath I decided to keep it at 2 minutes. And keeping that pace, I ran/walked for 27 minutes! I only walked about ~8:30 of that too, so my total running time was about 18:30, which was a 2:30 boost from yesterday's run! I was super excited.

I learned something important today as well. There's no shame whatsoever in treating your body kindly when you exercise. If you have to run/walk instead of pound out a 22 minute run, that's okay! Especially since I've really only been running for about 19 days. I am learning that pacing myself doesn't make me a weakling, or settling, or whatnot. It makes me smart! I'm honoring my body and taking care of it, and not putting it under so much stress it gives out on me and knocks me out of commission for weeks. You're not running to punish your body or punish yourself for being out of shape. You're running because it makes you feel good, it makes you feel alive! Running is good and healthy no matter what form it takes. I'd say a 27 minute run/walk combo is very good.

So, all that to say... be smart. Take care of your body, even when you're trying to work it out hard. God only gave you one, and you don't get to trade it in for a newer model! And trust me, a 27:00 minute run/walk, even when it's 101 degrees outside and about 70 degrees in will make you sweat profusely! Just for proof, here's a picture I took after my run:

I am definitely red faced and sweaty and proud of it. Own your sweat, to quote Definition Transformation. You got out there and did it, and that's something to be proud of! :-)

Well, I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I'm about to get some more water and get dressed up to spend some QT with the fiancé (and yes, I took a shower already, cause that would be some serious stinkage otherwise! :-D) Be blessed all! :-)

Day 27: Adding Minutes To My Life

First of all, gotta show you my progress pics!

 



I can tell a huge difference even this month seeing the pics side by side like that. And look how much smaller my arms are compared to the previous picture! I can really tell a difference even in a slightly different position. One of these days I will take a pic where you can actually see my face, lol!

It's crazy how much weight I've lost just from amping up my workouts. I've literally dropped 8 lbs and almost 2 shirt sizes in just over two weeks! My entire weight loss for the month of August was 10.4 lbs, which was great since most of that loss was at the end of the month. :-)

I have also brought back another idea, which was the "Pounds Lost" jar. It was actually supposed to be a "Pounds to Lose... Pounds Lost" set but I have never found the other jar, lol. I may actually do some shopping around later in the week and see if I can't find another one that looks sort of the same. It was kind of an indication of the different type of person I was at the time, that I worked so hard on the first jar and then kind of gave up on the second one! I wish it was that easy to lose the actual pounds that the jar was supposed to have in it! lol. I also had a friend that I went to high school with suggest putting a set amount of change in the jar (e.g., quarters, dimes, nickels) so that when you lose the weight you have money towards something new! All I really keep around is pennies so I would have about $1.06 when I got done. :-D Yup, I've still got 84 pounds to go before goal but I am making progress!

Here is a picture of the jar:

 

It is much more full than before! When I started it I had 11 stones in the jar and now I have 22! I have doubled my weight loss from when I used it last. :-) I would love to do different color stones for each 10-11 lbs but we'll see how it goes. It would be cool to have a rainbow in there. :-)

 

I also did a nice light workout today, 5.4 miles on the bike. I will do a 15-20 minute run later on today and will do a bit of strength training tonight before the fiancé comes over. I did it this way for a few reasons: firstly, because I wanted to take it a little easier and not do two super hard workouts in a row. I'm basically doing two light workouts and one hard one in the middle. That way I won't be super exhausted and sweaty at the beginning AND end of the day. Secondly because I want to confuse my body a little bit! I have done the workouts pretty much the exact same way each time and my body will eventually get used to it. I don't want that to happen, especially after some major plateauing at the beginning. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a great day! I will hopefully be posting for a second time later on tonight (the fiancé understands my obsession with this blog, and I think he enjoys seeing the photos, :-D) and adding day 16 to the 50 Days of Running challenge! Be blessed all!

Day 26.2: And On The Nineteenth Day, She Rested

I'm feeling a bit better thanks to getting some chemistry homework out of the way and it just being quiet around the house for a change. I'm enjoying sitting around reading everyone's blogs and leaving comments, and just doing things that don't hurt. After a huge welt on my... back end... from the 47 minutes of biking last night, and sore knees from running 15 days in a row, it feels good to take a rest day. And surprisingly, as I rest my weight goes down instead of up! I was expecting the weight to come creeping back on if I didn't exercise. But I guess that's more of a long term thing, which is good.

I have gotten back on my antidepressant, which I'm not sure if it is making me feel better or worse. I have not been on it for two weeks now, and the scrip just came back up for refill (I lost almost a full bottle in Illinois somewhere while I was at my best friend's party. I tried to refill it and received a snarky message that my insurance carrier was not going to pay out for a lost bottle and they would not refill it for another 14 days. No bueno.) Either way, we will see if they turn me into a blabbering emotional wreck^200 again. This particular antidepressant has not caused any problems with my weight loss, in fact it makes my weight drop off twice as fast when I'm exercising regularly. Go figure. :-P

Tomorrow my fiancé is coming over, yay! We will watch a movie from home on Saturday and do our annual apple picking outing on Sunday after church. Either way, it will be very HOT. The Honeycrisps came out earlier because of the unseasonably mild weather for most of the winter, and so we are picking them in very early September instead of late September. We will also go back for the pumpkin picking in October, which is another of our traditions. I don't think we have ever eaten much of our fruit bounty except while we're out there picking. (Though I've never eaten a pumpkin whilst picking another pumpkin. That just sounds hard to do. And messy! :-D)

My birthday is in 16 days. I will be turning 29, one year away from the big 3-0. That kind of frightens me a little, and a little sad that I've wasted my twenties just sitting around being depressed and stuffing my face. That's no fun at all! Hopefully my 30s will treat me a little better. :-)

Well, I am going to work on some more chem homework and shower, but not while doing the chemistry homework, lol. Be blessed all and have a great labor day weekend! :)

Day 26: Trying to Adjust

The last few days have been really intense, with tons of roller coaster emotions and just not fun. I'm trying not to drown the blog in pessimism cause that's not really what I'm all about, but I just feel really discouraged. I'm still working out, still not eating too much, but I just start to wonder if maybe I'm wasting my time and money going to school and doing all these things to better myself. I feel like I'll never be good enough to meet my expectations, no matter how hard I work. I have felt this way all my life, I work and work and still don't feel good enough for myself. I got a 4.0 GPA my first semester and I have a 4.0 GPA this semester. But I'm beating myself up because I got a 98 instead of a 100 on a quiz! :-P I know I shouldn't do this to myself, that I should accept myself as I am. But I've got it in my head that I accept myself as I am, I am being complacent and that will cause me to backslide. Do any of you feel that way? How do you deal with it?

I have been trying to work myself back up to 22 minutes and got a little further, to about 17 minutes before I felt another crying fit coming on. Fortunately, this time I waited till I got into the car. Since it has been two times in a row now, I wonder if its not PMS but something a little deeper. I have lost 21 lbs in 2 months, I have worked myself into the ground and gotten the reward for it. But it is still a shock to the system! I have never been this active or in better shape, and there seems to be this huge adjustment curve involved. This is the first time in my life that I have really treated myself well or honored myself. I have from a young age thought very badly of myself and not treated myself well. To actually do that for myself, to actually believe that I do matter and that I am doing the best I can, is such a hard pill to swallow, especially when it seems that the people who are closest to you want to sabotage you and make sure you fail! (Not people like my fiancé though, he has supported me through all the things the haters have dished out.)

I know I am going to get through this and come out stronger. I have never quit even through sexual abuse, financial disasters, and depression, but it is still hard! I would love any prayers that you can give me! :-)

I think I am going to do some serious chilling, and suck it up and have a rest day. It is so hard to give myself a rest day but I know I need some time to recharge and rejuvenate after working out continuously for way too many days! I just want to sit around, read Glamour, and paint my nails. I haven't done that in a long time. :-)

I hope everyone has a great day. If you're in the same boat as me, please pray for me and let me know any ways I can pray for you! :-)

Day 25.5: Demotivation Becomes Motivation

I have had a very... interesting day today, as in, really kind of blah. My mom was in the same mood I was but for a different reason, and when you add two people who want to kill everyone and especially each other in the same room, it does not bode well for either person. Mom was telling me about how I spend so much money and how they aren't going to pay for my overdrafts (Which really is not a huge deal, it was a glitch in the system and I will pay it off tomorrow after I get my paycheck. It was just the way she said it, she knows how to push all my buttons!) I don't consider myself to spend massively either. I just have things that come up that I need to take care of, like having some gym shorts and some deodorant, and I take care of them when they come up. There is a lot of stuff I want but I am still prudent. :-)

Anyway, my mom's words and my general bad mood apexed today when I went and tried to bike. I made it 2 miles (actually, closer to 1.76) and I just broke down. I'm sure I kind of surprised the guy next to me, but I got up and left, feeling completely defeated and just blah. I posted to my GOF page on Facebook, thinking everyone was going to knock me for it. What can I say, sometimes I can be a tad pessimistic. But I got a lot of encouragement from some great people, even some I didn't even know. I decided then that I am a lot of things sometimes, but a quitter is not one of them.

I got home just as my parents were leaving to go out of town and I was determined to attack my dad's stationary bike. He has a different type of bike than I'm used to using, I usually use a recumbent and he uses one that looks more like a regular bike. I got on and turned on the beauty hour on HSN, and proceeded to kick butt. I rode for about 40 minutes, and knocked out 10.3 miles out on the treadmill, beating my dad at both time and mileage. My dad and I have always been a bit competitive when it comes to the stationary bike. I am always trying to beat him, and now I have. I rode for a grand total of 12.06 miles. :-)

What is really sweet is that I have obliterated another mini-goal of mine which was to do my gym's requirement for biking for a short-track tri (10.2 miles), which I set kind of half-jokingly cause at that point I was much heavier and knew that it would be a bit of a long shot. Now I have not only met that goal but I have beaten it by 0.1 miles! That is completely awesome.

I am so glad for everyone's encouragement. :-) It is super awesome on a bad day like this. I get on my blog and write about it and I hope other people are encouraged by it too. Sometimes you just have a blah day. You can still get it done! Never settle and never give up. You're just one step away from a breakthrough!

I hope everyone has a fantastic evening. Me, I've got to get some chemistry homework done, because as far as I know, it has not done itself, lol. :-D Take care everyone!

Day 25: Running Shoes and NSVs

I finally got my running shoes today as an early birthday present. They are pink and blue and super awesome. Here are a pic of my running shoes from the official site:

The picture comes nowhere close to doing it justice. They are actually a lot brighter and prettier than the picture makes it look. And they are super comfortable! I ran for a brief sprint across the aisle in them and it was like walking on air! I can't wait to try them out tonight and tomorrow during my workout. Mom also got me 4 pairs of running ankle socks, and an orange sports bra. I'm normally very difficult to fit in a sports bra because I'm SO large on top, but this one was super comfortable and didn't have armpit bags (don't those totally suck, lol) so I have added sports bra number 3 to the growing collection. Very excited to wear all the gear tonight and tomorrow. :)

 

And NSVs (non-scale victories for the uninitiated) abound. Firstly, I'm losing all my pants! Well, not all the way, but all my pants are HUGE on me. I have a pair that was so big I literally had to hold on to them while I walked. I have only two pair that even fit me remotely well, plus two pairs of shorts. My mom is saying she will take a tuck in them, but I hate that! I would rather have new jeans that are comfortable, and don't have a weird pleat down the side where Mom has tucked them, lol. Also, I had a NSV that I passed up the rolls and butter at O'Charley's today. And the fries with my soup and sandwich. I looked at them and they looked at me (if they had eyes), and they smelled really good but I just didn't want to eat them. So I ate my yummy lunch and ignored the really greasy stuff. :-)

 

And SV's... I am down almost 20 lbs! Today I weighed in at 211.8, which was 0.8 lbs away from being 20 lbs! And if I can keep up the 2-lb streak, I may get very close to 209 (O_O) tomorrow! Then I would be out of the two-teens and getting even closer to Onederland! Plus, I would meet my goal of 210 lbs, which would be how much I wanted to lose for the month. So we will see tomorrow, if I don't eat anything too bad. I could tell I was getting close to my monthly cause I was crabby, hungry, and tired, the PMS triage. :-D So hopefully I can keep it reigned in today.

 

I hope everyone has a great day! :)

Day 24.5: I'm an Overcomer!

My ankle is doing much better after a lot of walking today with my friend, which made me suspect it was not properly stretched or just cramped up from all the running. I went in the gym today and knocked out 8.57 miles on the bike between 80-88 RPM. I lowered the resistance level ever so slightly (from 6 to 5) but it didn't seem to make too huge of a difference. I feel amazing and look forward to my next cardio/strength day on Friday! :-)

I have realized today what a different person I am now. I tell people when they hurt my feelings or I feel they've overstepped their bounds and I am no longer shy about it. I am not necessarily mean, but whoever is bothering me knows that I am upset. It is so weird to finally be able to say that I am an assertive person. I have never been an assertive person, and I thought I would never be an assertive person. It just doesn't run in my family; my mom literally took a college credit course on how to be assertive and interact with people. I never did find out her grade though, lol. Either way, I am making new strides physically, emotionally, and spiritually and it feels great.

I am almost out of supplements after two months of using them. It's time to visit Jake at Supplement Superstores and restock. You may think I'm weird for my supplement obsession, but I honestly will not go anywhere else except S2 for them. Complete Nutrition always kind of scares me in the mall because every time I walk by there, the guys inside there give me creepy eyes!!! Either they think I'm hot or they think I'm a good candidate for a sale. I briefly considered going in there but the same dude was there with the creepy eyes and I was like, nooooo, moving along now. If you live anywhere near St Louis, visit Supplement Superstores ASAP. If for no other reason that they give you free samples, lol. :-D

I have become obsessed also with the Healthy Choice Café Steamers. They are portable and great after a long workout when a heavy meal is just too much. I love the pasta, but I am branching out and trying some meat entrees (bad former vegan Shelly!) because I love having a variety of food. Cause trust me, nothing will make you stall out faster than eating the same thing every night. I remember when I was a teenager trying a weird version of a diet and literally eating the same thing every day (at only about 800 calories a day, don't try this at home, kids!) and never lost a thing. In fact, I think I gained because my body was in starvation mode. Now I eat a variety of things at ~1700 calories a day. :-)

Anyhoo, I am full of talking today and I think it's time to get some food. Be blessed all and have a fantastic day!

Day 24: Praise You While I'm Sore

My ankle is injured! No bueno. I don't exactly know what happened except that it is bruised, and does not respond well to walking. It does better when I run instead of walk (I guess cause I tend to land more on my heel when I walk and more on the ball of my foot when I run!) but I'm not going to be dumb and try to pound out a 24-minute run today. I ran for about 10 minutes, which is about half of what I'm used to running. I am going to do some cardio/strength combos tonight that don't directly involve my ankle so I'm going to do those at full strength. Today is legs/thighs/chest/butt day which really sucks when you're an active runner and biker! But I persist because I love the way my calves look! They are shapely and beautiful. :-)

I lost 2 lbs today, but the gym scale has been recalibrated to weight what my mom's scale does! It would normally weigh me at 210 because of the way it was calibrated yesterday but today it weighed me at the exact same weight! I was totally bummed out, but hopefully it will be at 20 lbs tomorrow. I am so ridiculously close it's crazy! I'm around 18-19 lbs lost, which is great but I can totally get past that! Because of my persistence I have shattered several plateaus and if I get down to 212.0 on my mom's scale I have completely obliterated the whole plateau and the 5-6 lb cycle I have been doing for weeks now. So I am hoping for another whoooooosh. :-)

I am so excited about how my life is going, despite the few minor setbacks I described above. I remember a few weeks ago pondering life as a Christian and wondering if Joyce Meyer was right, that God would give me a better life if I loved him. Looking back, saying YES to Jesus was one of the best decisions I have ever made! I am amazed at how my life continues to change for the positive.

I love being back at church and serving God in different ways. I'm going to help serve at a mission project which involves filling bags with rice, protein, and vegetables for those in need in Haiti. We are going to fill ~40,000 bags of rice mix and they will be shipped to Haiti! There is also this whole missions weekend and I am definitely going! Because of school and the way my schedule is set up it is very difficult for me to go overseas, but I hear there are some local projects that will be available. I love volunteer work of all sorts, so helping in this field sounds fantastic to me. I am also attending a class that the church is offering in September about the privileges of being a church member. I'm so excited about all of this.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and knocks out some good exercise. If you're injured like me, be smart and take it easy. Never settle for getting hurt worse. Be blessed all!

Day 23.5: The Great Day Continues

I am so excited about how the day has gone. My mom was late coming home but I let it slide since it's pretty easy to reschedule that appointment. I cleaned up while she was gone and took my sister out to eat at Ruby Tuesday. It was ridiculous because I got a lunch plate and didn't even finish it! I got grilled shrimp, potatoes, and broccoli and left some shrimp and potatoes and my sister was more than happy to polish off the rest of my shrimp! :-D We came home and she fell asleep and I worked on my chemistry homework. I got a lot done!

My mom came home around 4 and decided to pay me a huge paycheck for taking care of my sister. I don't feel comfortable divulging the amount, but it was a good sized check. I went to Wal-Mart and picked up some new gym clothes, and some necessities and not so necessities, including a new watch! I am super excited about my watch because I had this fantastic watch that my mom got me from Nordstrom Rack and I can't find it anywhere! My new watch is pink and has all kinds of fun gadgets on it. The damage was only $8.88 for the watch and I can't wait to wear it! It will be nice to be able to tell the time when there isn't a clock nearby, lol. I also bought my favorite shampoo and deodorant, and the latest issue of Glamour! Before you know it, I'll be in those clothes. :-D

I went biking and biked 7.04 miles! It was super hard because of the heat and because I had been out walking at Wal-Mart at previous. I struggled through it and dripped lots of sweat (thank God for deodorant!) but I made it! That's a total of 340 calories and 8.28 miles today! I am so geeked out! I came home and made some pasta margarita (in the microwave, I don't do a lot of heavy duty cooking) and watched Extreme Weight Loss. I would love to be able to afford a personal training session, and for those of you who don't know, when I hit goal I'm going for my CPT certification! I will be so excited when that happens. :-) I will also be getting a tattoo, much to my fiancé's chagrin but he said if it's not huge than he will deal. I will get "Never Settle" tattooed on my upper back, right beneath my neck. I would love to do one on my neck but I hear it hurts like crazy! :-)

I am so grateful for all my new friends and I appreciate all your likes, comments, and encouragement! It really means a lot to me and works wonders when screaming "NEVER SETTLE!!!!" inside my head while I'm working out doesn't work, lol. Be blessed all and have a good evening!

Day 23: And It Was A VERY Good Day

Oh my goodness! I saw 212 on the scale this morning! It was on my gym scale that always measures me a little light, but I am so ridiculously excited! I screamed (quietly, as I was in a public place, lol) when I saw that number. Plateau has bitten the dust and 19 lbs along with it. I also ran 1.24 miles, 23 minutes, and burned 133 kCals. I'm so proud of my progress and I'm one pound away from 20!!! :-)

I was happy to see my first piece of motivational mail today. I heard from this wonderful person at a forum I have attended for over 5 years. She told me she had read my blog and that she was inspired by me and that I had motivated her to go work out. I almost cried, I was so happy to hear that. That has been my goal all along, to help inspire others and now I'm getting closer to doing that. Because it's great fun to go running and lose weight, it's so much more fun when you can take a few people along with you. :-)

I will get to see my little sis ride horses for the first time today. For those of you who don't know, my sister has a severe form of autism and although she is very even-tempered and easy to get along with (and one of my best friends!) she is completely nonverbal and is prone to depression because she can't communicate effectively. But from what I've heard from my mom, she feels very much in her element when she rides horses, she smiles and is excited and her depression lifts. That sounds great and I can't wait to see her ride! I will definitely take pics with my cell phone camera and play proud sis for a little while. Then my sister will ride home with me and we will hang out for a bit. I think she will take a snooze for a bit and I will work on my chemistry homework, but I love hanging out with her. :-)

Well, I have to get ready and throw some makeup on before I go to Wentzville. I wish you guys the best in your workouts and thank you to all my new patrons! So excited to see more traffic to the site. Have a fantastic day all!

Day 22.5: Ticker Tape Parade!

I love the Newsboys! I stole that phrase from "Million Pieces," which has to be my favorite song. I remember seeing the Peter Furler-led Newsboys in 2005 and they shot confetti everywhere when they sang that song. Good times. :-)

Kind of the way I feel today.

I had my every-other-day cardio/strength combo today. If you've never heard of this particular brand of madness, I have my running every morning and then I go back every other evening for cardio/strength combo. I do my strength training first, doing different muscle groups each time. On the first day I do arms/shoulders/back/abs; and on the second day I do butt/chest/legs/thighs. I usually do free weights at the end of every workout for 3-4 minutes. Then I bike for 25-30 minutes. The total damage is usually 30-40 minutes and very sore whatever I'm working out. It's especially true on the second day when I'm running, working my legs, and biking! I usually can't walk comfortably for several hours afterward. :-)

I hope you like my tickers on the side! The bottom one is the 50 days of running challenge. My friend initiated this whole thing and I think it is absolutely brilliant. I have made it through 11 days thus far and I admit there are some days where I don't want to do it, but I always feel so good afterward that I continue. The second is the Onederland by Halloween. For those of you who don't know, Onederland means that you are out of the 200s, usually 199 when its being measured. By October 31st, I would like to be to 199. It's not too lofty of a goal, it's about 16 lbs from where I am now, but it would be super cool to see a 1 before the last two numbers! I haven't been 199 for about 3 years, and I would love to see that number again. So anyway, the two tickers measure the progress I have made each day. I host my tickers at LilySlim which is has a number of tickers, not just for weight loss and exercise. Go check them out and add them to your FaceBook or blog!

I am keeping it simple this evening, since I have some chemistry homework to take care of. I hope everyone has a fantastic evening!

Day 22: Broke a Plateau and Made It Cry

I finally got past this horrible weight gain I have had since getting off antidepressants. It went up all the way to 219.6 yesterday and I was really discouraged. I have been drinking tons of water (wouldn't drink anything else!) and it has been getting rid of some of the water weight. Well, today I weighed myself and it was down to 215.4! I was so excited because I've been getting stuck between 217-219 for a long time now and I finally got what they call a 'whoosh'. I literally dropped 4 pounds in one day. :-) So, I'm excited about the weight loss.

Guess whose birthday is in less than 3 weeks? Yup, it will be my birthday on the 15th of September. I will be turning 29! It's crazy cause I remember how excited I was about graduating high school what seems like a minute ago and coming up soon is my 10-year reunion. I'm hoping I will get to go and see some of my old high school buddies. I'm a totally different person than I was in high school, I've suddenly become outgoing and energetic and I'm sure half my class will be wondering if I've gone nuts or something, lol!

Also, the fiancé and I are going for our annual tradition of apple picking at Eckert's. It's so funny because we started doing that 2 years ago as well as going for the pumpkin picking in October, and its great to see the dramatic changes that have happened in both our lives. My fiancé has lost 30 pounds and kept it off for 2 years. He's about to graduate and he may have a job in the works. I won't reiterate all the changes I've been through but man, what a difference 2 years makes. And who knows what a difference 2 more years (actually, a year and 9 months til we get married) will make. :-)

I guess this will be a short entry, but you better bet I will be back after strength training (it's arms, shoulders, and abs day! Next one will be butt, chest, and legs day, which is always super hard after a long run.) and my evening bike ride to let you know how I did. I hope all of you have an awesome day!

P.S. I ran 22 minutes and 1.20 miles today! 22 on 22!

Day 21.5: More Progress Pics!

I have some more progress pics that I want to share:

 

Pretty cool, right? I am pretty stagnant as far as actual weight loss goes but look at the definition on my legs! I can also see some arm definition despite the bat wings I'm sporting (gotta love them bat wings!) I'm super excited about wearing shorts now because I have some gorgeous calves to show off. And needless to say, the fiancé is pretty excited too. :-)

 

I actually dressed up yesterday! I wore a black top and this crazy glittery skirt that I got on Beale Street when I worked on the next street over. I got so many compliments and good vibes from people, and it felt great! It was much better than when I used to go to places and people would walk on the opposite side of me so they wouldn't have to stand next to me (sad but true, I'm afraid). Now I'm more confident and carry myself so differently. I don't have the actual photo, but I took a selfie and sent it to my man, and I noticed my eyes. They just looked vibrant and full of life. I smiled and texted him, "Now that's the look of a happy woman."

 

I got my first grade in... 100 percent on my first chemistry homework! I am excited about that, especially considering how much I struggled with it. I still remember Dr. Bob's chemistry class and learning about the different states of matter. I had no idea what was going on half the time, but I remembered for years that a puppy is a heterogeneous mixture, but I had no idea what a heterogeneous mixture was or why the puppy was one. Now I found out that a heterogeneous mixture is a piece of matter where the chemical composition varies in each sample you take. Obviously the puppy is composed of different kinds of chemical composition throughout! Chemistry mystery solved. :-D

 

I hope everyone has a great evening.... and remembers to hug their puppies. :-)

Day 21: Lucky Treadmills and Blessed Sundays

I ran 21 minutes on what I have now figured out is my "unlucky" treadmill. I usually use the brand new treadmill that my gym has because it's my favorite. I can go 20 minutes plus at 3.2 mph. Today that treadmill was taken and there was an insane amount of people in the gym for it being a Sunday, so I decided to suck it up and go on the little-bitty treadmill adjacent to the door. It was a dinky thing and wouldn't have allowed me to stick my arms at my sides if I was any wider. And man... I couldn't even get above 3.0, was sweating profusely and grabbing the side bars some of the time (I hate doing that... it's wimpy running, lol!). Next time, I'm using my lucky treadmill and knocking out 22 minutes! :-)

I also went to church for the first time in six months to a year. Before, I am ashamed to say I had ulterior motives for going to church, but now I go cause I like the people there and totally enjoy the church's minister. He shouts a lot and is very interesting to listen to. Today he spoke on joy, and how we have joy through having a relationship with Christ and how sometimes things may be rough but Christ wins in the end, citing extensive passages from Revelation. I always thought Revelation was super cool, with Christ riding in on a white horse to save the world. I don't know how literal Revelation is but I think it would be super cool to see Jesus ride in on a white horse and banish Satan to the Lake of Fire. God sure does know how to write an awesome epic. :-D

Tonight I'm going to a potluck supper at the church. I don't have any food for it, but I am looking forward to fellowshipping and getting to know some of the people at my church. I know some of the people in my Sunday School classes, I know the people I sit with on the right side of the church, and I know the associate pastor and music minister, but potlucks are fun because you get to know a variety of people. I just have to, as my 11th grade Geometry teacher often said when we left, make good choices! Eat less and fellowship more. Should be interesting to put my social and eating skills to the test, lol.

Well, I've got to get back to chemistry homework, which was what I got online to do to begin with! :-D I hope everyone has a blessed day and I will see you guys tomorrow! :-)

Day 20: 20th Day, 20 minutes!!

I'm so ridiculously psyched. I just ran for the "elusive" 20 minutes and for my first mile! Well, technically a mile and a tenth, but who's counting, right? :-D

My day started out kind of sucky. I have been doing things right but since I got off antidepressants I am ridiculously stuck at 217 again. I just think I will be at this weight for awhile, until my body gets used to being off antidepressants. Either way, to see the same number on the scale everyday is super frustrating! I reluctantly went running, still a bit upset from the scale number. I listen to Christian radio a lot of the time on the way to my run, and Third Day's "I Need a Miracle" came on. I said to God, kind of flippantly, "A miracle would be good." I was just being silly, but God gave me some amazing things to be thankful for. I'll share some with you:

1) I can see! (And just getting new specs, you really appreciate being able to see.)
2) I can hear moderately well.
3) I can walk.
4) I can run like nobody's business.
5) I have good things to eat.
6) I have clean water and will not get sick if I drink tons of it.
7) I am doing well at college.

And the list goes on... but my spirits were incredibly lifted. I felt energized and happy and I knocked out 20 minutes on the treadmill! God is good.

Oh, speaking of new specs, here is a photo of me with said new specs:

 

 

I totally love them! They make me look so stinkin' cute. And I had to wait 4 days to get them so I'm very grateful to have them. I'm also grateful because my original glasses broke 3 months ago and I wasn't able to replace them. I wore a pair that I wore when I was 15 and I couldn't see very well AT ALL. So now my scrip is the intended power and I can see just fine. (By the way, excuse the lack of makeup and the post-workout hair. I had just done a workout and when you sweat profusely, makeup is a bad idea!)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I know I will. God bless!

Day 19.5: Bye-bye Vegan365 and Hello New Site

Sad news, folks. Vegan365 is now officially closed after 1 year of keeping it up. I hope you all won't be too disappointed, I rarely eat meat and generally if I do its seafood or chicken, but I need protein for my long runs and bike riding. If I don't eat some form of protein after working out, I feel horrible the rest of the day. So, all that to say Vegan365 is on permanent hiatus. But please consider following this site as well! We'll have a good time and enjoy ourselves. :-)

Speaking of, my fiancé dropped by unexpectedly and we watched a movie together. We actually watched the new Muppet movie, which was pretty good. None of the original folks were on board, Jim Henson passed away ages ago and Frank Oz wasn't in it, so I was disappointed in that. I couldn't figure out why Fozzie Bear sounded so... unlike himself, lol. I found out they have a whole new crew of people doing the voices. They had some of the oldies but goodies in there like "Rainbow Connection" and the theme song from the show. Yes, the fiancé and I love kids movies, what it do? We were so excited to see Planes cause we were such big fans of Cars and Cars 2. 29 going on 4. :-D

I managed to drag my butt to the gym after being sore this morning and managed to pump out 5.61 miles on the stationary bike, obliterating my previous record. I burned about 182 calories (not that I was counting ;-) ) and walked out on wobbly legs. That's why I'm always so grateful for my protein bars after a workout. I keep hoping I'll have enough money to go to S2 and stock up, but I will have to wait til next week I think, until the last paycheck from my previous job comes in. :-) I have seen this fruit loop protein powder, and it looks wicked awesome. 1st Phorm even put out a recipe to make the fruit loop protein powder into frozen yogurt! I will have to try that sometime.

Well, it's about time for me to get ready for bed, I hope everyone has a fantastic evening.

Day 19: Ch-ch-changes

First of all, love that song! :-)

I have been noticing some changes. Today I ran 15 consecutive minutes and was actually running longer than anyone else in the gym! They were doing running/walking intervals and I was powering away on that run like a total beast. That felt so awesome. I used to be the chica not even going above 3.0 on the treadmill. I watched everyone else run and I wanted to do it so bad. Now, I'm slower than them but leaving them in the dust as far as time.

I have been opening my mind to religion as well. I have not had good experiences with churches because I am SO different than most of the people there, I am very matter-of-fact and I ask a lot of questions which sometimes gets on people's nerves. Besides, I have struggled with a number of sins in the past that are too personal to share and I was always embarrassed to come to church because I was afraid someone would find out and be judgmental towards me. Because of that, I built up walls and pushed people away in church so they wouldn't see my sins. Silly logic, I know, but when you're scared you do some dumb stuff.

I have a Joyce Meyer obsession. I have mentioned it in previous entries and it still holds true. I'm not like hanging out in Fenton trying to find her or anything, but I do watch her show every morning and read some of her books. There is this series she has done that literally took 3 times before I could watch it all the way through because it was so hard to wrap my head around. It was about deception and compromise, a very meaty sermon indeed. That wasn't really the part that got me. She says towards the end of the first part of the sermon, "Listen, God can give you a better life than the one you're living now." It's ironic, because right now I think I have a great life and an awesome thing going for me. I thought, "I could have an even better life WITH God? I have a great life now, and that must mean with God it will be even more awesome!" Naivety, yes, but get over it. We all have our catalysts.

So, with that in mind I am putting a different bend on this website. Since Vegan365 is going the way of the dodo bird (sorry, all of you that are fans, it is going down later this afternoon), I am changing the name of the site. It will be called: Girl on Fire: From Underdog to Beastmode. I'm so excited about the name change and the lifestyle change and I'm excited to share it with you!

I hope all of you have a blessed day and enjoy life!

Day 18.5: Finding New Confidence

It's amazing how you find yourself when you lose weight.

I have found by losing weight I have suddenly felt like I should not ever, EVER settle and I have been telling people I know that, probably to the point of annoyance at times. :-D But there is a story behind my obsessive use of the phrase "Never settle," and I feel like I have reached a point in my life where I feel comfortable sharing a little bit more of myself.

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My weight has only been an issue for me since I was 14. Before that, I was as active as could be. I was a moderately accomplished gymnast and tried to be a cheerleader until a self-confidence and knee blowout ended that venture. :-) I also ice skated and played soccer, basketball, and softball. I was never good, but I loved it.

I don't want to get into the particulars of my childhood, but there were some issues that caused me to gain weight. I ended up putting on over 100 lbs in a short amount of time.

I finally got to the breaking point the first time when I hit 240. At 5'3" (fun sized!) that was a hard pill to swallow and my body was showing the effects. I lost 51 lbs, getting down to 189, but I gained it all back after ending an abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend. It was very hard for me, as was the death of my maternal grandma, and I'm just now emptying the last piece of that emotional baggage.

I went to see a psychiatrist for occasional depression and panic attacks, and found out I had residual post-traumatic stress disorder from that relationship. He seemed to think I had daddy issues (I do, my dad is way too awesome! It's killing me! :-D) and tried to get me out of my parents' house. I moved way too fast, found a job where I got scammed and lost over $2000, and it pretty much imploded. I'm still unpacking those bags.

So, all that culminated into a very frustrating time of it. I became moderately depressed, and one day I went to the library hoping to find the latest book to change my life (aren't we all guilty of this from time to time, lol?) and found out that the answer was in my lap. I had my BMR Bliss meds and needed to take them for the day. I had reached into the passenger seat to grab the bottle and it said in pretty font, "Never Settle."

Suddenly, I realized that was what I had been doing my whole life. I had been settling into everyone's mold of me, I let everyone push me around, I didn't take care of myself, and I had just been settling. Now was the time to change. I pulled into the gym on the way home and the rest is history. :-)

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I hope that gives you a better understanding of what I've been through. I really hope that I can encourage you to do the same. Well, maybe not with the roller coaster of emotions it took me to get there, but I want to encourage you to never settle for less than what you're worth. Don't let anyone tell you negative things about you. You were put on this Earth for a reason, and that was not to give up! :-)

I hope this has encouraged you tonight. I hope you have a great evening.

Day 18: Kickin Butt And Taking Names

Day Five of the running streak! I have gone 10-10, 3, 6, 10, and today I ran for 12 minutes. It's not exactly doubling my time but I reckon that as I clock more and more minutes I will have to add a few minutes at a time. I am still trying to hit that elusive goal of 20 minutes of running and trying to add more time every day.

I also gave up caffeine, entirely by accident. :-) I have been drinking flavored water for about 2 or 3 weeks, and I realized yesterday that I had drank no soda at all, just drank water and was fine with it. So I thought, what the hey, I'll just stop drinking soda. So I have and have my cup with a V on it (it originally stood for Vegan to promote my blog, but since I am no longer updating the blog I just carry it around for fun) filled with lots of water. It's a 24 oz Tervis water bottle and I am totally geeked out about it.

I made this really great little fruit salad today. My mom was serving eggs with way too much fat added to it in the form of sausage and LOTS of cheese (yuck), and I wasn't really interested in that after a 12-minute run. So I threw together a can of mandarin oranges, a handful of blueberries and slivered almonds, and some Greek yogurt. It was delicious and more nutritious than my mom's eggs and sausage. :-D I will post a picture of it the next time I make it and give a more detailed recipe.

Well, this is a short entry since I have class in a few minutes. Have a great day all and I'll catch you later today. :-)

Day 17: Girl on Fire

I can't believe it! I blasted through my plateau today and weighed in at 213.6. At my lowest I was around 214.8 so I am both shocked and pleased. Let me tell you though, I only weighed once! :-D

I also have been running like crazy for the past few days. I started out doing running and walking, about 10 minutes or so, then I did it for 3 consecutive minutes, then 6, and today I ran for 10 consecutive minutes (and 2 seconds). My goal is eventually to get to where I'm running 30-40 minutes at a time and am able to strength train along with it. Cause honestly, when I get done running I don't want to do anything else right away. That is why generally I run in the morning and strength train at night. :-)

I have been watching a lot of inspirational videos lately. Not my traditional Joyce Meyer obsession (she is an amazing speaker, the jury is still out as to whether I believe in God or not but I do enjoy learning about Christianity) but some weight loss videos on YouTube. My favorite is this one here which I believe has a website that you can access from the page. I have always enjoyed watching Before and After videos, and this chica is completely relatable. A lot of the folks on YouTube are older and have kids or grandkids and want to lose weight for them, so its nice to see someone younger on there as well. :-)

I am going in to see a career counselor on Tuesday to see if she can set me up with a job, preferably something that utilizes my Technical Writing degree. Yup, I have a BA in Technical Writing but as of yet have been unable to use it except for my occasional contributions to the Examiner and a brief contract job for a museum. I did insurance for a time but I have learned I don't like customer service. And cold calling is horrible! You get hung up on, sworn at, insulted, and all kinds of fun stuff. So, hopefully I can find something that suits me and uses my degree. Wish me luck! :-)

Well, that is all for now, gotta get ready for school. Have a great day all! :-)

Day 16.5: Signs You're Getting Thinner

- You are freezing everywhere you go. I live in my WFM jacket and it's 90 degrees outside!
- When you stare blankly for 20 minutes while everyone else is stuffing their face.
- When you go into a athletic store and people don't give you a second glance.
- When you fit into your favorite jacket at REI and still can go up a size if you want.
- When it sounds incredulous that someone gets tired going to the other size of the mall.
- When you'd rather go running than eat.
- When you're stressed, you say, "Dammit, I wanna run!"
- When you're excited when you find a free 5k.
- When you go exploring after being out all day.

These are just a few for fun that have happened throughout the day and week. I have been noticing little things in my life that haven't always been present. I fit into a large jacket at REI. When I was previously at REI at around 222 or so, the jacket was very loose through the sleeves but wouldn't zip up (I have big hips and a weird waist, lol) and this time it zipped up all the way. I was psyched and I hope by the time winter rolls around I will be a medium.

My family has yet to catch up with me weight-wise. In fact, my mom is kind of sabotaging me a little bit because she always wants to eat. I wanted to eat at a restaurant with lots of healthy options, but for some reason my mom thought the other end of the mall was too far, even though technically you can just get in the car and drive down there. My mom's idea of "shopping at the mall" means going to 2 shops in close proximity to each other, and one of them is always a Starbucks. Anyhoo, she went to basically a meat and cheese mecca (AKA El Maguey) and I tried to find something healthy on the menu, and I got what I thought was a healthy meal but turned out to be covered in cheese! Next time I go to the restaurant I will ask for it without cheese. Yuck. :-P

Still, it looks like I have broken the 216-217 plateau for now. I ran six continuous minutes on the treadmill and am aiming for seven or eight tomorrow. I like to aim a little higher and try to surpass it. My goal today was five minutes, but I'm trying to get to a 30-40 minute run. I intend to run the (FREE) 5K I have signed up for, even if I have to train in a hurry. And besides, running obliterates the pounds. :-)

Well, I hope everyone has a great night! Take care all.

Day 16: School Daze

Morning everyone!

Survived my first day of school yesterday. It was actually quite a bit less traumatic than I thought it would be, both psychologically and food-wise. I thought it was going to be a huge adjustment since I hadn't even thought about school for three or four months, but I seemed to fit right in and was able to take notes. I was also okay for eating, I only ate a little and got full fast.

I seem to be plateaued at 216 again. I really do need to step up my game a bit because I had a busy weekend and I think I tend to gain weight over the weekends. My fiancé and I are becoming more active though which is a great thing. We do a lot of walking and such and we will be doing a 5K later on in September. :-) It will be the second of that run that I have done, and my fiancé's first of this one, though we did the Race for the Cure last July. It is an untimed race but I hope to beat my PR this next year and even run it.

I also hope to run for five minutes continually soon. That is my next goal. I ran for about 3 minutes the other day and got a bit tired after that. I want to eventually get to the point where I'm running all 20 minutes. And then I will add more! I want to be able to run a 5K, and eventually a 10K. I have a very awesome friend that regularly runs marathons and did a few ultramarathons recently; I would love to do that. My ultimate goal is to do a full triathlon. My fantasy and not-very-realistic goal is to be able to do an Ironman tri someday, but I don't know if that will actually happen. But first, to do the 5-minute run, lol. :-)

Welp, it's to the gym with me, and then to hang out with my best friend. Have a great day all and enjoy the weather!

Day 14: One, Two, Skip A Few...

Hey guys!

I skipped a day or two since I have been busy! My fiancé and I spent the entire weekend together, we went to Castlewood and walked the mile trail. I got some angry spots on my feet and sand in my shoes but we had an awesome time. The next day we went out to eat and watched Courageous at home since my feet were still sore. By today my feet had healed up so we walked along the riverfront at Festival of the Little Hills. We had a great time and hung out at Picasso's as well, which is my favorite place to hang out on Main St besides Jake's on Main (AKA the Life is Good shop). We went there as well.

So, needless to say, the weekend has been very busy. And tomorrow I start school at college taking my very first class towards my Biology degree. I haven't decided if I want to go into Marine Biology or Microbiology yet, but either one sounds great to me. If I got a Microbiology degree I could work at Monsanto or a biopharmaceutical company, and if I was a Marine Biologist I could work at an aquarium or go sailing on the ocean. That sounds a lot more exciting than dealing with people, lol. I am by nature a researcher and not into customer service, so a type of degree where interaction with people would be minimal sounds utterly fantastic to me. :-D

Speaking of school, I'm not sure how it will go with food. I love the food at my college, which is mostly unhealthy stuff. They also have lots of events at the college with free food and drink (served in Frisbees, no less) and food trucks from time to time. So I will have to keep a tight reign on what goes into my mouth. Thankfully the BMR Bliss helps with the really wonky cravings (I don't usually eat sweets or really salty food) and keeps my appetite to a minimum.

I hope everyone has a great night! I will be nervous about school but I know all will be well.

Day 11: Cause I'm Awesome that Way.

Hi guys!

I appreciate your patronage! There have been 61 page views in two days! I am so happy that you are enjoying the site and I hope to see even more of you soon.

I have had a mixed bag of a day. On the positive side, I ran three consecutive miles without stopping. I haven't done that in my continuous running adventures, even when I was good at it. I ran a total of around 5-6 minutes, with 4 minutes of walking. Considering the circumstances, it's not a bad go of it. I'm planning on going back later on tonight if the gas in my car holds out for another day. :-) Also, I weighed in at 215.2 today, breaking the plateau at 217-219. When I compare side by side pictures I can truly tell a difference. Check out this bad boy:

 



I can really tell a difference! That is the same shirt too, and yes I bash on the Cubs and don't particularly like them or baseball in general but my parents keep on buying me shirts when they go to Chicago. My dad is a huge Cubs fan. And we're in St Louis. Awesome planning there, but my dad is from the UK so he has that excuse.

 

I have also had some not-so-good news in that someone I have trusted in the past has been lying to me constantly, and tries to pass the buck to me and say that I don't understand what's going on. And today I unearthed a huge honker of a lie that this person told me that could have cost me a ton of time, hassle, and kept me bound to them for the rest of my life. I won't get into the particulars, those who are close to me know exactly what I am talking about, but I am honestly shocked. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be close to you lies to your face and then blames you for not understanding why they lied and how the whole schema works.

 

Anyhoo, I have also received a call from a college that may work with me to find a place to live and transfer some of my college credits at my current college to theirs. I didn't realize they had been calling me because they never left voicemails until today, and I had wondered where they had been all this time. Either way, I have not decided if I will switch my major at my current college or transfer to this college. It's a huge decision and I want to make sure I'm making the right one. :-)

 

Talk about a drama filled day, right?? I hope everyone else has a less drama-filled day and enjoys their day.

Day 10: I did it!

Today has been a good day. I stepped on the scale this morning and was happy to see I was at exactly 216, which is 15 lbs gone FINALLY. I have been hovering around 217-219 for awhile and now I'm so excited to finally see 216. I have not been 216 since living at my fiancé's house over a year ago.

I have also started running at the gym. I have joked in the past that you could get me to run by stealing my box of donuts and driving off with it, and I would run after you trying to get them back, but I am no longer ravenous for chocolate donuts or anything like that. In fact, I went to Steak and Shake with my best friend and literally could not finish a $3 meal. WTF? When I went to Steak and Shake before, I would eat the entire meal AND get ice cream afterwards AND possibly a bag of candy later. I just can't imagine doing that these days. I would feel completely gross. :-P

Ever since I changed my lifestyle, my world has totally changed. It's like I can't imagine doing the things I used to do, at least not favorably. Clothes are starting to fit in sizes I haven't worn before. I actually am taking an interest in clothes and other things. I even put on some makeup, which is something I don't normally do. :-) My whole life has changed for the better, and it just keeps getting better.

My fiancé finished his last quarter of culinary school today! He is going on to an externship at a really fancy restaurant, and I am one proud fiancée. He still loves his job after being there at least three months (he was shadowing there and now he is an extern) and is learning the menu quite well. I will be doing my first practicum in veterinary technology next semester, and I couldn't be more excited. I loved working as a groomer, and I assume this will be similar. :-)

I hope everyone has a great day!

Day Nine: Actual Next Day!! Mind is BLOWN.

Hi everyone, 11 page views today? Man you are all amazing. :-)

I finally got on after one day, so technically this is day nine!
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I went to yoga class this morning, reluctantly. I have not been to an exercise class in ages, and generally speaking I don't like them. I'm always the token fat chick in the class; sweating, not in proper workout clothes, and just somewhat of a spectacle to myself and others. So, needless to say, I generally avoid them like the plague. But today, I decided to be different. I got in, and true to form I was the sweaty fat chick (but there was an old guy in my class who was borderline flashing his backside on the bending moves, so I felt better, lol) but I felt different this time.

Sure, I was screaming inside my head, things I prefer not to repeat, but I feel like I made the right decision trying to take care of my body. Ever since I took some serious steps towards reevaluating my life, I'm starting to realize that without exception that everyone starts out that way. They might not be as heavy as I was and am, but they feel out of place, like the token something-or-another. They feel like everyone is staring at them and judging them when in reality everyone feels the same way about the way they look and could care less what you look like. In fact, I saw someone more overweight than me totally killing it on the elliptical and my immediate thought was, "Get it girl!" I was so psyched to see her kicking ass like that. :-)

I found something kind of cool today when I was taking my supplements this morning. I noticed on the bottom of the 1st Phorm container that holds the Thyro-Drive I take every morning there is printed in script, "Never Settle." I had never noticed it before and thought it was super cool. As I fought my usual inertia, I kept repeating these words to myself, "Never settle." And I think that after some evaluation of my own life there is some truth and motivation in that phrase.

I have settled my whole life. For crappy jobs, abusive family members and boyfriends, for programs in school I didn't enjoy in the slightest, for being unkempt and overweight my whole life. I was always saying "Yes," to someone or something without considering my own opinion. I just continually let myself go without considering that I could take my life in another direction. Maybe today I can decide for once not to settle and to say "Yes," to myself.

Didn't think you would get poetic turn of phrase, didya? Well luckily, today you did. I hope you all have a great day and remember not to settle!

Day Eight: Stay Positive

I have been inactive for more than a day, but I promise to update this more frequently (and actually do it everyday!)

I quit my job yesterday. I had only been there for six weeks but it was probably one of the most demeaning jobs I have ever had. I got yelled at, got nasty garbage spilled on me daily, and got all kinds of crap from everyone. I was so glad to see it go. But I do have to find another job in the meantime since I have tuition for school and whatnot. :-) I do have enough of a paycheck coming in to pay for the rest of my degree, but I'm still a bit nervous. I'm confident though in my ability to find another job.

While searching for another job, I have decided to work on myself. I have been visiting S2 for about a month now and totally love the BMR Bliss Go Pack. I finally broke my plateau and got below 217.2, which I'm sure is due in part to relieving myself of some really difficult stressors (my job being one of them!). My mom has brought on the drama lately, and I find that working out has relieved a lot of that tension. Today I signed up for yoga classes and may start Zumba soon if my knees will tolerate it. I start my yoga classes tomorrow at 10:15am. :-) I will be sure to keep ya'll updated. :-)

I have also been going to vet tech school at Penn Foster, which I know is a for-profit school, but my fiancé has had a wonderful time with his college education and is about to graduate with a cooking certificate from a for-profit school, and I'm so stinking proud! I am doing my vet tech degree and will be doing another degree with them when I'm done with this one. It'll be a surprise. :-)

Keep you updated on my progress. :)