Day 79: Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

And true to form, it is very quiet and relaxing. My kitteh baby Frodo is asleep on top of the heating vent, and I am listening to the radio with my space heater on. :-) My fiancé is on the way home from work, and it is just a peaceful night.

I went to Whole Foods tonight and picked up my vegan roast and "giblet" gravy. I didn't realize there was so much to preparing a vegan roast, I thought you just stuck it in the oven and were done with it. But you actually have to baste the thing and prepare it in the oven and everything! That sounds super cool and I am definitely up for the challenge! Plus, I got all these fresh fruits and veggies, and I think I will make a cherry-banana green smoothie tomorrow. I bought some cherries off-season and they seriously cost me $10 for a small bag! Next time, I will get the frozen organic kind, lol!

I have also discovered that being a vegan is not necessarily and end-all-be-all to weight loss. Even if you're hard core vegan and eating healthily, you still have to work out and eat healthily. It seems like common knowledge, but I suppose this is something that you have to find out the hard way. So, needless to say, tomorrow I will be going walking/running and doing some sprints. I am sure it will be super cold tomorrow so I will wear some hard core layers, but since our Thanksgiving meal is not until dinner, I have plenty of time to chillax, do some running, and prepare my Thanksgiving roast. :-)

I'm in a picture-taking sort of mood tonight, so here's a photo of my Tofurky roast:

Tofurky roast and gravy! Nommy.

 

 

I have also been doing a little bit of shopping besides going for my Tofurky. I went to Hobby Lobby in a crafting sort of mood, but couldn't find anything to my liking. Pretty much all I need is wire and to find my crimping shears, but I decided to wait until I had some more money and time later. But... I DID go to Cafepress and look for a vegan Euro decal. My car is admittedly a bumper sticker mecca; I love them and basically exhaust all possible space without it looking too tacky. :-D I have this really cool one that I got from a vegan Meetup but I am afraid to put it on my car because it's pretty out there. But I will put it on there eventually. Anyhoo, this is the one I will be getting in mid-December:

 

Sorry it's so big! Lol.

 

 

I am soo excited! I saw some of these in the past and never got brave enough to buy them. But this time I decided I was going to go for it. :-)

 

Well, I am going to jet for now; I'm not sure if I will post on Thanksgiving but if I can I certainly will. Namaste all, and enjoy the journey! 

 

 

 

Day 78: One Week Vegan :)

Well, I have hit the seven-day mark for my veganism. I started last Wednesday after feeling rather convicted (and ill from my lactose intolerance) that I should do something to fix it. And so far, so great! I have felt more awake, energetic, and for the most part in a better mood. :-) Some days are better than others, of course (as the previous post so engagingly pointed out) but there is at least an upward trend. I don't really feel deprived from not eating meat or dairy, sometimes I do crave it a little bit, but most of the time it is easily resolved. Granted, I am losing weight more slowly due to my gut healing up and not rejecting everything I put in it, but I'll take that kind of weight loss over the annoying interruptions that I had before.

I am starting to heal up also from the emotional beating I took the other day. I have been reading more into ASDs and this really cool book called Living Well on the Spectrum. It has some of the more subtle symptoms of ASD and how they effect your daily life. I noticed that a lot of it fit me really well, especially the forgetfulness and lack of coordination, as well as just not knowing how to make small talk or assert yourself socially. I like the author's perspective on ASD, that it is an alternate way of thinking rather than just a disorder that needs to be eradicated. That's kind of cool to think about I suppose, but they give enough practical coping strategies that it's not just flowery-hippie idealism about how we're different but all the same. Not that I'm knocking that notion, just that it isn't very realistic in practice. But that's a whole nother novel and I'm sure you're not really that interested. :-)

One thing I noticed today too is just how ridiculously offendable people are. One of my favorite companies posted something from Thug Kitchen, which is profanity-laced gloriousness and has some pretty good recipes too. But there were several spoilsports in the bunch who wanted to complain about the swearing. To the point of alienating people on the website, and just being plain ridiculous. C'mon, people. The company itself swears all the time and is not a traditional company, and no one bats an eyelash. But people just love to make a stink, just for the sake of making a stink. I have met so many people who are just deeply offended if you use "bad" words. Honestly, do you really think I care if someone calls me a "vegangelical" or a "veganazi" or even a "granola?" I don't care! I call myself that, because I am devoted to being a vegan and yes, I can be a little preachy about it. Don't like it? You're welcome not to, I don't judge. But for me to say I'm offended because someone thinks I'm a radical? So what, they're right! :-) And damn proud of it. And I really think people should take this attitude more. Let the smut roll off your back and just GET. OVER. IT.

/END RANT

Sorry, I saw this today and had to say something. :-) Ah well, glad to get it out there. Pick it apart if you must, but remember to be kind and mindful. Namaste, and enjoy the journey.

Day 77ish: Hey hey, it's okay...

Like my awesome made-up song title? I think I'm onto something there. :-)

In seriousness, my fiancé brought up something that I thought was super cool. I was bummed out because I had not done very well on my Chemistry test, I guess for whatever reason I just had a bad weekend and didn't want to do much of anything. He said to me, in essence, that doing badly on one chemistry test was okay, especially since I had average 90s on the other test and the lowest score would be dropped. He didn't sound the least bit disappointed, and said that some tests are just harder than others and I would have no trouble with the final. In that moment, he was giving me permission to fail. :-)

Maybe this sounds outrageous to some people, after all, if he gives you permission to fail, doesn't that mean that he wouldn't mind if you failed? Yes, and no. He may want me to succeed, but if I put out the effort and don't make it, I simply have to make a change in my actions and try again, with no guilt trips and repercussions from him. :-) That is a revolutionary and refreshing idea!

My parents, for all intents and purpose, simply didn't have the ability to give me that option. My dad has a doctorate and my mom has a master's, and I can remember ever since I have been in school, they were obsessed with my grades. They bribed me financially when I made A's and B's, they told me everyday that they "needed to see those A's," and just made me a nervous wreck about bringing home anything other than an A or a B. I remember forging signatures on a signed test when I was in the 7th grade because I was so embarrassed to tell them I made a D on a test. I have been at a number of GPA's, even joining the honor's society one semester with a 4.0 GPA and at one point getting an overall GPA below a 1.0.

I don't know how much is related to this, but it has caused me to hold myself to a ridiculous standard of perfection. I was crushed if I didn't bring home a 100, if I got a C on a test I would stop going because I knew I couldn't salvage it. I studied 30 hours or more a week, as well as going to school. It was just high pressure, all the time, and I couldn't handle it.

I have been in college over a decade. I have wrapped my life so much in making my parents happy by getting good grades, I just hoped that if I could complete school the way they wanted me to, I would be happy, they would be happy, and everything would be hunky-dory.

THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS WAY TO LIVE!!!!

My passion is writing, animal rights, and jewelry-making. I used to make jewelry everyday, and wore it, and I was super proud of my work. I got asked to do a jewelry show but was hell-bent on making a 4.0 GPA, so I turned it down. I think this was a HUGE mistake, and I could have gotten a huge self-esteem boost from it. I love to write and wanted desperately to become published. I never got to do any of this! I let myself go to the point of making everyone else happy. You know what, I want to have my own jewelry business, I want to write novels, and that's okay!! There is nothing wrong with any of that. I also love photography and want to take photography classes, and that's okay too! All of that is okay! I don't have to be in school my whole life or make everyone happy to be happy myself. I can live my own life and be okay with it. :)

Day 76ish: School, Writing, and Everything Else

I am sorry I haven't been posting on here for awhile. I have two blogs and I generally tend to focus on one and not the other sometimes. :-)

It has been hard for the past few days. I am sure I have run the gamut already so I don't want to get into it for now, but I have felt numb, lost, and alone. I have suffered from intermittent depression my whole life and I guess it's just been a rough spell for me. I wish I had something more optimistic to say but I'm just not feeling it tonight. That's okay though, I know God takes care of me and something good will come out of it. That I do know for sure.

I registered for classes today, General Biology I and Ethics. I took the Ethics class last year but had similar issues to right now and I had to drop out. I am taking it again because I love philosophy, and wanted to absorb the whole class and really enjoy it. I am taking it from the same professor, and am seriously looking forward to it. Since I am no longer in the medical field, that course will fulfill a literature credit. :-) Besides, I enjoy reading about Greek and Roman philosophers even though most of them are Atheists. I also love Greek mythology. :-) Too bad I will never use it, lol.

I need to get back into the writing one of these days. You know you're going through writing withdrawal when your characters appear to you in dreams and ask you why you're not writing anymore, lol. I have been writing and telling stories pretty much my whole life, especially the Fort Cyprus Bysto series which I have written intermittently since 1999. I also had a series of books called Red Rivers, Redemption, and a third unnamed book which I usually call Renewal or Restart. Those are strongly autobiographical but more exaggerated than my actual life. I don't write super often because once I get started I want to write ALL. THE. TIME. and I can't afford to do that, lol! :-D One of these days I will share some more about Fort Cyprus Bysto and my characters. :-)

Also, my school is putting on a Veterans Week which I will be at religiously. I am not a Veteran, nor do I know too many military vets, but I can relate to them because of a high incidence of post-traumatic stress disorder, which I had in early adulthood and for a little while 3 years ago (it has since gone away) and I can't compare my trauma to that of the military vets, but somehow I feel a camaraderie there and I will always support military vets and those currently serving. :-)

Lots of different topics tonight, but it feels good to talk about something different for a change. :-) I hope I will be able to elaborate on this blog somewhat, I have missed posting here and sharing with all of you. I hope all of you have a fantastic evening, I am delving into chemistry land and hopefully I'll still be balanced on the other side. Ha ha, chemistry humor. :-D Be blessed and enjoy the journey.

Day 75: Me, A Vegan???

Sorry for the lack of posts on my part! Have been busy with school and everything. I hope I will be able to become more active henceforth. :-)

I have suspected for a long time I had an allergy to dairy. It can be rather intermittent, but lately I have been having severe GI issues, sometimes for several days at a time, and I couldn't figure it out. Well, I have discovered I'm allergic to dairy and possibly have a soy/grain allergy as well. It would explain why I feel allergic to everything! So, on that note, I have decided to eliminate some things from my diet, mainly meat, dairy, and as much soy as possible. So, this gal will be vegan, again. :-)

I am a little nervous about this transition. My fiancé and I eat out a lot, and so does my family. I am, however, looking forward to trying my hand at some new vegan recipes. I used to run a blog that had all kinds of reviews of vegan recipes, vegan products, and all kinds of fun stuff like that. However, when I stopped being vegan I stopped maintaining the website. Now, it seems that my life has inevitably been turned in that direction again, and I may be reopening the website. :-)

It will definitely take some effort and some tolerance. But I think it will be a positive thing for me. I have impacted a lot of people through the Girl on Fire site and I think I will be able to make a positive impact with the V365 site as well. I have always been supportive of animal rights issues in various avenues, and I totally think its a great thing to be vegan. :-)

In unrelated news, I am doing well staying below 200, have been in the 190s for several days now. However, I can't seem to move from there! It may be to my benefit to change my diet up for that reason as well, maybe it will move the scale. But for now, I'm all about taking care of my body and doing what is best for it. :-)

Hope everyone has a fantastic day! Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 74: "And the introspection. The introspection was killer."

I guess I'm shamelessly quoting myself. That was from a book I wrote eons ago called Red Rivers. It does kind of embody my mood tonight, being shamelessly introspective and retrospective. My protagonist introspects about why she had gotten from one place in her life to another, and was briefly reminiscing about the steps that had caused her to self-harm. She said that quote, and although I no longer struggle with the demons that Melanie Parker does, I am occasionally inclined towards sadness and difficulty with change.

The later books show a well-adjusted Melanie with a strong faith and a warrior's spirit. I seemed to see something even then in myself that was hidden from view. Melanie lost a ton of weight, began working out, and was happily married. Keep in mind that I wrote this 5 years ago!! The novels were strongly autobiographical but badly written, and I would love to continue the Red Rivers/Redemption/Renewal series but encountered a severe blow to my ability to write that has kept me from it for years. But I digress.

-----
I am reaching a crossroads in my life. My fiancé has graduated college and joined the workforce, and I have been struggling with my writer's block for some time now. It has actually created in me a bit of a fear of writing, that if anyone actually read my work they would punch holes in it and tell me it was bad. I failed a Creative Writing class because I was so scared to let anyone read my work and eventually stopped going to class because I was embarrassed. It has also kept me from submitting my novels for publication. My degree is in English and my trade is technical writing. I love it. Like, mindnumbingly love it. I love my creative writing with equal passion. I am one of those eclectically-minded people who can shift from creative to technical writing on a dime and I totally don't mind. It's my life and my passion.

And yet, I have been spending my life running from it. :-( I'm freaked out by what would happen if I found a job, if I was no longer miserable and broke and did end up well-adjusted with a strong spirit. My fear isn't so much that I will suck at writing, I've been writing since I was 5 years old. My fear is that my whole identity was bound in being a victim. I carried around this huge chip on my shoulder for many years, and that I was the victim of one circumstance or another. To break with that, to take responsibility for my own life and acknowledge that I didn't get a great start but WILL get a great finish, scares me shitless. Excuse my French. :-)

I know this sounds like a random post and I apologize. But running from the things I love for fear of success is a frequently occurring theme in my life and one of the reasons I couldn't lose weight for the longest time. I was literally afraid to succeed. Which is a sad position to be in, to be honest. I truly want to stop that. I want to finish Redemption and Renewal and write more books. I want to be a successful technical writer. But first I must get my bum in gear and realize that being successful really isn't something to be afraid of. :-)

Thanks so much for wading through my deep posts again. I appreciate it so much. Have a fantastic evening and sleep well. :-)

Day 73: Keeping it Amazing

It has been an awesome day. :-)

I found out today that my mom will continue to fund my education after way too many years in college. I've finally found my niche in Chemistry/Biology and enjoy every day that I'm there. I was shocked, because for awhile I thought she wasn't really that interested in my going to school, but my mom's and my relationship has been growing by leaps and bounds every day. I am continually amazed at my mom's positive attitude. She hasn't really had an easy time of it with my grandpa being ill, but she is there almost every weekend and takes care of him. :-) My mom is such an amazing, strong person and I feel blessed to know her. My dad too! He's funny and way smarter than me, lol. :-)

I went for a short run today. I intended to break records today, and I felt God telling me to put away the timer for the run. I was not keen on this at all, I have always run with a timer and it is super glued into my hand most of the run. I finally decided to heed the feeling and put the timer away, only to discover when I took it out a minute later that I had accidently deleted my running apps from my phone! What are the odds? I was even more frustrated and ticked, but I went with my instinct for how far to run and when to stop. And I still had a good run even without the timer. In fact, it felt so good I think I will be running "naked" from now on.

Not to worry, I won't be running without clothes on! To run "naked" means not to track time, calories, or any kind of distance. You simply run until you feel like stopping, and walk some, and run some. I liked the freedom of running without a timer, there was no sense of failure because I hadn't accomplished my 30 minute distance that has been eluding me for weeks. I enjoyed being outside, enjoyed the weather, and just relaxed. :-)

My fiancé is coming over Saturday to see me! I have missed him since he started work. He seems to be having a great time at his new job, but he still misses me a lot. I miss him too! I keep hoping for a job with relatively flexible hours so when we get married in a year that I will actually be able to see him. :-) I'm still keen on being a Beachbody coach, lol! Maybe someday. ;-)

I hope everyone has a fantastic evening! I will be buried in Chemistry homework land as usual. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 72: Busy Bee and 199 LBS!!

I finally hit 199 lbs.

Granted, I hit 198 yesterday and went up a little bit today, but considering I haven't worked out in awhile I'd say that's pretty good. I got a little bit discouraged when I couldn't hit the 30 minute mark and decided to take a break from running for a little while. I am looking forward to getting back into it soon. Anyhoo, I hit 199 lbs and am excited to report I am still there today. I took some progress pics but am a little disappointed with how they looked. My hair was kind of all over the place and I wasn't wearing any makeup. So I will be sure to retake them tomorrow and post them on the blog.

I have been dealing with a lot of things outside of the blog and the Facebook page, none of them being particularly bad or good. I have decided to work within my original degree and try to find a technical writing job through Career Services at the community college. They have been very helpful thus far and have given me a few leads and suggestions for how to find more. I plan on getting some sort of degree while I'm working, but I'm not sure how that will pan out. I will keep up with my classes and do some job-searching while I'm not in school. It will be difficult but I am positive about the future. Plus, my fiancé is starting his first job out of college and the hours are a little bit wonky, all nights for now. I am not concerned about it but he is, he's worried he won't get to see me and everything, but I think it will all work out.

I have been dealing with a lot of family issues, which are positive for the most part. My parents and I are starting to reconcile our relationship after it being rocky for years. I don't think it's necessarily that either one of us are at fault, it's just that we are SO different in personality and because I am disabled (I have mild autism) I want to be independent from them and start my own life but I just tend to do things a lot slower than most people and sometimes that is frustrating. And I think I carried a lot of that frustration with me and just had a lot of anger about it. But I am glad I am starting to get some help for that through my church. I have an outlet and it feels a lot better.

Wow, this is a pretty deep post tonight. If you waded through it, I appreciate it and I hope you will continue to read subsequent posts. Trust me, it will be a lot lighter fare than tonight, lol! I will have my photos and hopefully some running news and it will be awesome.

Blessings to ya'll, enjoy the journey, and enjoy the beautiful fall weather!! xx

Day 70: A Long Time Coming

I had an interesting weekend. Over the past few days, Bryan and I went hiking at Cuivre River. Or at least attempted to. We went to this lakeside trail that looked interesting but it was overgrown and covered in bugs! We only made it around 0.2 miles before we gave up on the trail and went over to City Hall Park to play around. We had fun and even got to find a new trail there. My fiancé's friend decided to invite us to this hole-in-the-wall bar in Maryland Heights and we had a pretty good time. I can tell the BMR Bliss has sped up my metabolism because I had two Midori and sprites which would have made me crazy drunk before, but I was just fine. :-) I had a good time, even though I had more soda than I have had in a long time. :-)

Today I was mercifully free of caffeine withdrawal and all that jazz so I decided to go to church. It was the first time out of a handful of times that I have ever gone to church two Sundays in a row. I had fun and got to know some of the people from the church. I am starting to enjoy going to church, even though the church is huge. At first I was miffed because no one would talk to me, they were busy talking to their friends and I kind of got lost in the shuffle. Now I like the time to meditate and get close to God without everyone invading my personal space, lol!

I did some Chemistry homework and then I decided to go for a run. Or rather, I tried to go for a run, realized halfway there that I had forgotten my timer, went back for my timer, went back to the park and then discovered that there were about three different meetups going on in the park. There were even people who were at a whip meetup and were learning to crack whips. There were sailboats on the lake and the place was packed. I like my space when I run so this kind of stressed me out. But I laced up and went anyway.

It started nondescriptly. I ran for seven minutes, and just ran out of steam. But I decided that I was not going to let it get me down. I walked for five minutes, then ran another fourteen minutes before my foot started going numb and almost gave out on me, and I decided to stop and let it get feeling back. Then I thought, why not do a slow interval run? I did an additional 15 minutes for a total of 36 minutes, 2 miles, and about 1.7 of walking. :-)

An unusually mellow-looking post-run picture, lol!

 

I finally got to the two-mile mark, even though it was kind of a roundabout way to get there. :-) Either way, I left it all on the track and am feeling much better.

 

Hope everyone has an awesome day! Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 66: My Triumphant Return

...was, um, rather short-lived. :-D

I went running again this morning after doing sprints last time while my knee recovered. I was going to go to the gym this morning, but I decided to walk in the park nearby and keep it nice and slow. Slow is quite an accurate description, I averaged 19:34 while I was running, lol. Either way, I got to about 26:42 (not that I was counting or anything ;-) ) and my body decided then was a good time to go, so to speak. So, I had to find a restroom to take care of business and I just couldn't get my mojo back after that. So, 26:42 instead of the full 28. I guess that's not so bad, but next time I will make sure to make proper use of the facilities before I go running. :-D

Not bad for a post-injury run! Nice and sweaty here.

 

 



I got really close to Onederland again today. Meaning, the scale didn't budge an inch. Sometimes when that happens I end up dropping more weight the next day, but we'll see. I'm hoping I don't plateau right before I get to Onederland! But then again, I ate totally unhealthy yesterday. Found my mom's Starbucks cookie stash and well, you can guess the rest. :-D I felt really gross and such.

I kind of tend to do this if I set a goal for myself or am about to hit a milestone, I will binge eat a little bit. Maybe this is a weird self-sabotage thing for me, I am really not sure. But today I have been good, ate lunch and some apples and grapes with peanut butter, and some cantaloupe (without peanut butter). I am hoping today before I go home tonight to find some fresh carrots and a big thing of hummus, because it is my favorite snack! :-) I have had to resist heartily the pretzel and hummus containers in the cafeteria while I wait for class, but so far so good.

I go see the Career counselor on Friday to get an initial consultation. It will be so weird to be back in the habit of working, especially after being out of work for at least 3 months. I'm not sure I'm entirely looking forward to it but it will be nice to have a little spending money for running clothes, fuel, and races. I kind of have a one-track mind, lol. :-D

I am thinking of doing some cooking while my parents are out of town, so I will be able to eat healthy. There is something about having the house to yourself that makes you want to take on many tasks. I have been wanting to try some clean eating recipes or some chilis or soups so I will do that this weekend! And of course, there will be pictures.

I wrote a lot today! But sadly, I must draw it to a close as I have class in a few minutes. Have a great day all, be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 63/64/65: Keeping it Real

I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. :-) I get busy some days, and then remember I haven't blogged at all. I will try to be more on top of things henceforth.

I have been injured for the past few days! I had problems with one of my knees, and I decided to take a rest day and go hang out with my fiancé. Well, after several games of basketball, air hockey, and other active games, my other knee started hurting! That one has been a little slower to heal for some reason, so although I have been running I have decided to take more rest days until the knee heals up properly, and then hopefully go back to my 6-day running regiment. But in the meantime, I am having a good time spending time with my family and enjoying myself!

In case you don't follow my Facebook page, here is a recap of some of the things that have happened in the past three days:

**I went to church for the first time in probably 3-4 months. I liked my previous church, but I needed a change of scenery as I felt sometimes that people were a little too intrusive and sometimes overtly rude to me. I went to a larger church over by my school and so far I am very impressed. Everyone seems so much more relaxed, more comfortable with their faith, and pray boldly. The minister is very interesting to listen to, he preaches loooooooong sermons, but I was able to concentrate on his message and not be bored. I will be going there next Sunday and attending a class getting more information about their church.

**I went for a sprint run after being out of commission for 2-3 days after injury. I had no idea how much harder it is to sprint than to do a long, steady run. My intervals were anywhere from 11:00/mi to 8:34/mi, though I generally stayed around 10:00/mi the entire time. I'd say after 8 weeks of C25K that isn't bad at all! Today I will be going to work out on the dreadmill at my gym just because it's slightly easier on my knees than running on pavement. I will try for 28 minutes again but we will see. I'd say after being injured for so long that any running is doing well! :-)

**I am at 200.4 after wandering around between 201 and 203 for the longest time. I have this weird habit of eating more when I get closer to a milestone or a goal, maybe some weird form of self-sabotage, but I will make sure to do better this time. I am so close to being in the 190s for the first time in three years! With any luck, I will be there tomorrow. I looked at myself and realized how much thinner I actually look! With the running and various other forms of toning I have noticed that I actually look thinner at 200 than I did at 186! That's why it is very important to work out while you are losing weight. :-)

**I had a good lunch at the Peruvian restaurant yesterday afternoon, and decided after a fairly big food baby that I was not going to eat at the basketball game. Well, I was true to my word. I got a bottle of water and enjoyed that while my uncle and my dad ate some food. Even with the yummy smells of food everywhere, I wasn't particularly tempted. I just enjoyed myself and ate a few almonds when I got home. And I still lost weight! :-)

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 61/62: Back in the Saddle (Again)

It's been an interesting weekend. I have been without one of my supplements for some time, and it has been an unrequited disaster for me. I am normally very mellow, having a good day all the time, but today my mood has been all over the place, moody and temperamental and everything! It totally sucked. I went running this morning, and since my fiancé was in the "guest room" where I normally sleep, my phone charger was in there, and my phone had completely crapped out. I had no timer, and not having a timer is like kryptonite to me. I only made it for a little while and felt completely discouraged. The negative self-talk made a guest appearance, and I was just berating myself for not being able to make it as far. I know now that it was a lot warmer and more humid than I was used to running in, and that probably slowed me down. Plus, I have been down for several days due to injury, so the fact that I had a pretty good run was not bad! I just couldn't wrap my head around it that morning. Add it to perpetual problems with my perpetually dishonest bank and I just couldn't handle it. I was emotionally worn down and thought I wouldn't be able to even get my supplements.

My fiancé was a perpetual blessing to me, calming me down and eventually paying for my supplements, which was a godsend. My mood is back to normal, and so is my appetite. Before I was ravenous and craving pretty much anything that was bad for me. Now I have only eaten a light meal this afternoon and have been fine. :-) I will have a protein shake for dinner since I missed it this morning.

I plan on picking up some hummus tomorrow and some veggies of some sort. I love my hummus and veggie combos, they really hit the spot when I'm having a bad day or just need something that tastes good. For those of you that don't know, my name is Shelly (AKA Girl on Fire) and I'm a hummus addict, lol! I had no good words to say to a certain retail chain that replaced the classic hummus and pretzel combos with the red pepper hummus. Thankfully my school stocks all three flavors of hummus and pretzels in the cafeteria, so there is always something yummy and healthy at school. :-) Plus, I notice a huge drop in my weight when I go to school, must be that brain food!

I have to admit, I never knew how much I needed the little buggers until I was unable to get them! I know people hate on supplements, and say you don't need a magic pill and all that, and I get that, but these have put me in a really good place emotionally as well. I have been able to get out and run everyday, I am always in a good mood, and I don't eat bad. Don't knock it til you try it. :-)

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 59/60: Time with the Fiance and Time to Myself

Geez, three blog entries in six days. Ah well, been a little bit busy!

Yesterday my fiancé and I decided to go out. I had hurt my knee and wasn't able to run for a few days, so I was eager to get out of the house instead of just chilling at home. We decided to eat homemade spaghetti at home, and then go out to Dave and Buster's to play games. :-) I have noticed that my choices of games has changed somewhat. Before, my only interest was games where you could stand or sit down. The fiancé and I are huge fans of Deal or No Deal, Ball Drop games, and Plink-o. I actually won 750 tickets out of the Plink-O machine once. But this time we added some active games like air hockey, a full size basketball game and a mini basketball game. The full size basketball game was much harder then the mini one! It worked me out hard core in the core (hehe) and the arms. :-) We ended up getting a ridiculous amount of tickets since the fiancé generally saves his tickets when he gets a ton of them, and I decided to get me a sweatshirt. I usually wear mediums in t-shirts but larges in hoodies, but I decided to get a medium hoodie since it was the only size they had. :-) I will fit into it, by goodness!

Speaking of the fiancé, he is now gainfully employed. I am so proud of him! It took him no time at all to find a job and he is even close to my house. Now it's my turn to follow suit. :-) I have an appointment with career services on the 11th and I think I will hold out for something using my previous English degree (yup, I have a bachelor's in English) or something where I am not necessarily doing retail. I've had it with retail, people are always complaining or just plain rude. I want a change of scenery. I have done a lot of medical data entry in the past, but a lot of that is now work-from-home now and full of scammers. Not really what I'm interested in! :-) Either way, I will try to work something out with career services next week and try to follow suit. I would love to be a Beachbody coach on the side, it just sounds like fun! I loved working with Primerica, and they seem to have similar setup, just in different business ventures. But since you have to make an investment beforehand, I will have to have a regular job first.

I have my second chemistry exam this Monday, on various and sundry things like nomenclature, Lewis dot structures, and all that jazz. I still haven't decided between biology and chemistry, I like them both and it's hard to choose between Microbio and Biochem! I will be sure to let you guys know when I've made up my mind, lol.

I also did my Biggest Loser workout today. I have been doing more strength training to make up for the deficit in running due to various injuries. I think I may do some interval running tonight though, on the dreadmill. Anyhoo, I did Level 1 of Strength Training on the Biggest Loser DVD, and I was nonplussed. I thought there had to be more to the workout, but it was short and kind of easy. I will do Level 2 tomorrow I think, it will be more challenging and not leave me nonplussed. Tonight I may do the Zumba DVD for a workout, I haven't done it in awhile, and I feel bad for losing half the DVDs over 2 years! :-) It was a gift from my fiancé at our first Christmas, and I never used it. But now I will be able to put it to good use.

I hope everyone has a good day! I have Lil Sis for the evening, so I'll be staying home. Be blessed and enjoy the journey. :-)

Day 57/58: Last Day of September and First Day of October

I seem to be getting into the habit of posting every other day. Nothing personal, just had other things come up and blogging kind of took a backseat. Still, I'm going to be updating whenever I can.

I walked/ran a total of 8.1 miles in the past two days. Yesterday I ran 1.68 miles and walked 2.74, and today I walked 3.7 miles. I got injured this morning though, a dull pain in my right knee when I straighten it all the way, so I've decided to take a few days off running and just work on my upper body. Today, however, will be a full rest day. Just chilling, putting a bag of frozen green beans on my knee for a little while (isn't that what we all do? I'm too cheap to buy a fancy ice packet, lol) and watching some good videos on YouTube.

Later this week, I am going to Career Services and looking into some job placement type of things, either using my previous degree or not. Either way, it would be a step in the right direction. I had some really bad experiences with jobs in the past and I needed some time to recover emotionally and mentally from that. I won't reiterate all the gruesome details, but it really sucked. I finally feel comfortable enough to be selective. I remember having similar issues with my relationships, just dating whomever came along first, until I got into a horrible relationship and realized that I could be selective. Two and a half years ago, I had my choice of three different guys. Two of them were D-bags, and one of them was super nice, and one of the most fun guys to be around. I decided to be selective, and two and a half years later, we're a year into being engaged and happy as can be. I chose my fiancé because he was the best choice. Now I will do the same for my job situation. Find the same equivalent and not choose a job because they were the first to offer. :-) It should guide me towards something amazing.

I am also considering going back to church, although a different one this time. It was nothing personal against my old church, I just didn't see eye-to-eye with them on a lot of different things, I thought it was a little too politically charged and a little too legalistic. But there were some great people there and I really liked them. However, it just wasn't the church for me. I have been listening to some sermons online from the church that I am considering going to, and I really like the minister who delivers them. Granted, I don't want to base the church solely on the minister or fancy lights or anything. I'm a little too cynical for that. I just want somewhere where people won't judge me or my disabilities, and just where I can grow as a Christian. That seems like a good place to start. :-)

I hope everyone has a good day. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Days 55/56: A Fun Weekend and Back to Running

I had a fantastic weekend with my fiancé. We decided that we were going to go to Taste of St Louis and to the Soulard Farmer's Market. I have been meaning to go to the Farmer's Market for some time now and haven't gotten to. We started at Taste of St Louis, which I looked at very carefully, ever eager to monitor my calorie count. I did fine there, eating a chicken kabob with all kinds of veggies.

The fiancé and I with the sous chef of Taste of StL. :-)

 

My fiancé's culinary school was there making food (yes, my fiancé is a chef, don't you love that? :-D) but we didn't get to try any of their food. He is trained primarily in French cuisine but has tried a number of different things and he makes a lot of good food. I was hoping to find the folks from LCB but we couldn't find them! It was too bad, too. We got to go to a lot of different places there, including some of the best foods in StL. Local Harvest Café, which is a favorite of ours, was at the festival as well, and they had $2 vegan chili! Sadly, I stuck to my chicken kebab, which was really good.

 

Afterward we went to the farmer's market and it was totally crowded! I have never seen that many people there. It was kind of hot and I was getting tired, so I also noshed on a polish sausage. I kind of wished I hadn't afterward, cause it was sort of okay but I ended up getting sleepy and crashed on the couch for like 3 hours. (Could be why I gained weight, lol.)

 

But the next day was much better. I decided that I was going to go for a run. I went to my usual park only to discover there was a HUGE 5k and triathlon being held at the park! I was insanely jealous, but still packed up my gear and went to my second choice, which was mercifully free of events and had good parking. Since it was around 65 degrees, everyone and their mom was there, lol. I decided to go a different way that time and walk the opposite perimeter of the park. I started running and realized that I was starting off at a 14 minute/mile pace, which was 2 minutes faster than my usual pace. I continued between 14-16 minute miles, until the very end when I got down to 17:01 minute miles, still a good 2 minutes faster than my last run. I even passed someone, which was a huge NSV for me because I am usually too slow to pass someone. :-)

 



Nice and sweaty after my run! :-)

 

I ran 1.47 miles, walked 2.03, for a total of 3.50 miles. I burned 919 calories and 3.5 miles took me 1:14:09. :-) I'm totally getting into running for more than a hour, though sometimes I wonder if I do anything else in the morning besides run, lol! I totally love logging long distances though, and as long as I can do it I will be doing it. And hopefully getting faster each time. I'm in my second-to-last week of C25K this week, so I'm hoping I can pull off a 2-mile run by the end! That would make me super excited. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I'm going to finish reading my new running magazines (I have 3 now, it's seriously awesome!) and hopefully put a dent in some chem homework. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 54: Fun Day With My Bestie and More NSVs!

I had a much better day today. Yesterday I was feeling kind of bummed out for some reason, I didn't get to talk to my fiancé all day because I was out with my uncle having fun (and a fender bender, but we're both okay!). I take a ton of supplements and vitamins, plus two prescription meds, so I think I ended up missing one of them. Either way, I'm feeling much better today and ready to take on the world. :-)

I went out with my best friend today. She and I like to go shopping, and she works in retail so she gets discounts in one of my favorite stores! I keep hoping she'll buy me a cool peacoat once they arrive and I drop a few more pounds. I absolutely love this particular store's peacoats! I used to wear a long trenchcoat every year but then the buttons cracked! No bueno. Anyhoo, we went to a few different stores and I wanted to get some new clothes since all my clothes are falling off of me! We went to H&M first and I went for this crazy gorgeous sweater in a size L. I also went for another top in a size L. The top fit, but I'm still a bit self-conscious about my tummy and didn't feel comfortable wearing it just yet. But I tried on the sweater and it fit perfectly, it was actually a bit loose on me! I decided to purchase it. It looks super awesome and I will post pictures soon.

We went to another couple of stores, one of my favorite places for bras and other goodies. I was surprised to find out that a size 38DD bra fit me! I have been trying to get into that bra for ages, it's been there awhile and the last time I tried it on it was super tight and nearly snapped off! But today I tried it on and it was a perfect fit! No armpit bulge either. :-) I didn't buy it though since even on clearance it was $34. Maybe next time. :-)

I also had a good time running this morning. I decided that I was going to run for 25 consecutive minutes, as my C25K app indicated. I was having a ton of problems with my previous app randomly resetting as soon as I would open it and the screen blacked out. I decided to use RunDouble and Runtastic for my run and they worked a lot better. I still want one of those Polar or Garmin watches though! I ran a total of 2.3 miles, with 1.3 miles of those being ran miles. I usually walk an additional 2 miles after my run, but it was already 78 degrees outside when I ran and super hot! I was sweating like a maniac!

You can tell I was super sweaty!

 

My fiancé is spending the weekend with me. I am so excited! I always miss him when he's not here and now he will be coming. He is doing the last day of his externship and it will probably not end in a job offer. But he seems to have learned a lot, and is proactively searching for a job. I'm so proud of him! We are going to cook this weekend! We will probably go to the Farmer's Market after I go running and find some goodies to cook with. Nothing like fresh produce! It is the best. :-)

 

I hope you all have an awesome weekend. Be blessed and enjoy the journey!

Day 53: Changes and Yes, More Progress Photos!

As you can see, the blog looks different! I have been tweaking with the borders, background, and even have a new page header. Hope you like it. I'm a huge fan of Underdog and have been for several years. It's actually how I got the name for the blog. :-)

My uncle and I went out today to shop. What we didn't realize is that both malls were outside, and it was a very warm 80 degrees out! So we perused both malls, not really finding anything to our liking (though I did find some nice shorts in the Reebok shop, but the only XL was in neon yellow! Sorry, this badonkadonk's not going into anything neon yellow just yet, lol!). We went to Syberg's to eat, and my uncle can't understand my accent at the best of times (he's British, and I'm Southern by birth and talk very quickly!) and had no idea what I was talking about! Either way, we had a good time and he gave me 20 bucks to cover the gas mileage, which is going into the kitty (a fun British expression!) until I find something good to buy. We also got rear-ended by this high schooler not paying attention to the turn lane, but thankfully the car basically had a few chips on the bumper and everything else was okay! Honestly, I have a mean gash on the fender from the time when I got into a fight with a hitch (the hitch won, needless to say!) so a few chips on the bumper mean nothing at all to me. I told the guy not to worry about it, and we went on our way. :-) So far, no whiplash or anything like that. :-D

I got in a 1.5 mile run (26 consecutive minutes) before class today. I thought I was going to have a terrible time staying upright after such a long run and BOTH my run apps sharting out at the same time (that's what happens when you put the cell phone in your pants pocket!), but I actually had more energy after a shower and a brief rest! I felt invigorated and my hands didn't shake for the first time when I filled something with water! I had mild tardive dyskinesia as a result of some bad medication adventures as a teenager, and I was shocked to see my hands are a lot less jittery! :-) Maybe it's due to almost no caffeine in my system for over 2 months, but either way I'm thrilled. Yet another NSV.

Oh speaking of victories, check out this awesomeness! 30 lbs-ish lost today, and here is the before and afters:

 

I can definitely tell a difference between the two pictures. I look like a completely different person (that's the same shirt, by the way) and totally feel like a different person! I have to admit, sometimes I feel a little bummed out from time to time but for the most part I am very happy and love my life. :-) I am even ready to start looking for jobs I think, I am nervous after being seriously burned by my last two jobs, but I'm ready to put myself out there and start looking. We'll see what happens, but in the meantime, keep your fingers crossed! :-)

 

I hope everyone has a good day! I'm going to rest up after my close encounters of the car kind, and maybe find something for dinner soon. Be blessed and enjoy life!

Day 52: Ran My First Mile!

I really didn't think I would make it through the workout.

Last night, I checked my C25K app, just to see if the workout changed like it did yesterday. Imagine my surprise when it said 22 consecutive minutes! This is not really a huge deal, I suppose, but 22 minutes has always been my barrier. When I was 15 pounds heavier, I tried adding consecutive time several days in a row and by 2 weeks, I had added 22 minutes of running on the treadmill. Unfortunately, I burned out quickly and couldn't get past that barrier. I remember one day I broke down crying and left the gym because I couldn't get past 7 minutes! So needless to say, 22 minutes has always been a little bit of a tough barrier for me, and I was nervous. But I decided to try out the app anyway, almost convinced it would be the one workout I didn't finish.

I started out quite weakly, and tired fast. But I pushed through. One of the benefits of having a timer is knowing exactly where you stand in the run. I ran through 10 minutes, then 15, then 20. By two minutes left I had a death grip on the cellphone, sweating profusely, and exhausted. But I made it to 22 minutes! I ran about 1.3-1.5 miles of it, but since my C25K app doesn't track distance I couldn't tell exactly how much of it I ran. I walked the remainder of the course, and then added another 1.7 miles, for a total of 3.2 miles. :-)

No double chin! Covered in sweat.

 

I was pretty shocked. I have gotten past the 5k distance, for a total of 5.14 kilometers. I have only gone past 5k distance once before, and I walked the entire time, for a total of 3.7 miles. That's the only time I have ever done it before. I could have technically could have walked/ran the entire trail if I would have added another half a mile, but by that time I was so exhausted it probably would have taken a slight breeze to knock me over. :-D

 

Tomorrow or Friday, depending on how long the lab takes, I will do 25 minutes consecutive. If I get through it, it will be my first time getting past 22 minutes. Thankfully the C25K app stays at 25 minutes consecutive for awhile, so I will be able to get used to that distance. I'm excited, and feeling very awesome.

 

I hope everyone has a great day. Be blessed and go outside!

Day 51: Upping the Ante

I started off my workout this morning with the C25K W6D2. I was expecting all the workouts for the week to be the same, as they usually were for the past five weeks. Imagine my surprise when I look at the workouts and it says to do 2 10-minute blocks of running! I have never done that much running before, except on the treadmill some time ago. I suddenly got nervous and seriously considered doing the W6D1 again. I thought for sure that I would not make it. But I decided to try it anyway. To my surprise, I was able to do both 10-minute blocks without stopping, for a total of 20 minutes of running. I'm not going to lie, I was definitely out of breath and definitely considered stopping a few times. But then I would look at the clock and say, I'm halfway, I've got 3, 2, 1... minutes left, and so on and so forth. That has always gotten me through some difficult runs. Some folks think it's counterintuitive to look at the clock, that you should just enjoy the run. And I do! There are times when I look at the scenery and just love running. Other times I'm so out of breath that it's a struggle to get through it! I find that looking at the clock gives me a goal. :-)

I was definitely sweating after that workout.

 

I decided to up the ante and walk an additional mile for a grand total of 2.55 miles. It got easier as I went on, and I would have gone longer than that except it began to drizzle a little and I was concerned about my cell phone getting completely drenched or at the very least a little moody, so I packed up my gear and headed home. (Much to my dismay, it stopped raining as soon as I left! :-P)

 

I was a little sore after my workout, and I decided to take a little break. I drank my protein shake and did some homework, and texted my fiancé for a few hours. Then I got bored. Mind-numbingly bored. I am low on fuel and have to wait to fill up the tank again, so I've mostly been at home all day. I got the crazy idea to ride on my dad's stationary bike for a little while, since it is in the basement anyway and so am I, most of the time. I thought that I would do a short 10-minute ride and be done with it, but as usual I made bets with myself (as in, I bet I can go longer than 10 minutes!) and ended up doing 9.11 miles in 36 minutes. Not a bad deal, though I have to admit I'm still a bit sore. Sometimes I do two workouts on the bike for a total of 1 hour, but since I have been upping my run time I'm just going to stick with 36 minutes.

 

I hope everyone has a good day. Be blessed, and go outside! :-)

Day 50: The Day After

Surprisingly, I am actually feeling quite fantastic after my 5k. I wasn't sore at all and my feet felt great in my favorite shoes. I am surprised but not entirely as I am getting used to running/walking more than 2 miles most days.

Today I ventured out and did C25K Week 6 Day 1, which was 5 minutes running, 3 minutes walking, 8 minutes running, 3 minutes walking, and 5 minutes running, for a total of 34 minutes plus warm-up and cool-down. Since it was a longer distance, I decided to take my Sports Beans with me. They help keep the muscles in my legs from being too sore and give me energy for long runs. The first five minutes weren't that bad and the eight minutes subsequent were only difficult during the last few minutes. I explored some different parts of the trail, and enjoyed the scenery. I ran all the way from City Hall Park to my gym, which is at least 0.5 miles or more. I am still super slow, lol. :-) I decided to continue after 34 minutes and fartlek (I love that word!) for the next 20 minutes. Doing fartlek for the last part of the run keeps me running about 5k distance, and doesn't exhaust me to the point that I can't walk to my car afterward and have to be dragged. (In case I'm found unconscious, pause the Runtastic app!) Anyhoo, I did 2.26 miles in 53:17, not the best time but I can deal. I have done almost 30 miles this month, and the month is still going! :-)

 In my favorite Outdoors Inc shirt from Memphis!

Afterwards. Either my glasses are akimbo or I am, lol.

 

The fiancé and I have talked about making some homemade hummus and pita for our night together since we don't like to spend a ton of money on eating out or eating unhealthy. My influence is somewhat rubbing off on the fiancé (or maybe vice versa since he lost 25 pounds way before I did, lol) cause now he likes to run with me and cook and eat healthy. He is finishing up his externship this week and I couldn't be happier for him. With any luck, he'll get a job offer, but if not, he is very talented and will find somewhere that will enjoy having him. As for me, my job search is temporarily on hold while I concentrate on me and getting through my third semester of college, but once I feel ready to do so I will definitely entertain the possibility of working again. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a great day! I am going to my chemistry class in a little over 20 minutes, then will be putting some gas in my car on the way back. Nothing real Earth shattering, as long as the car doesn't run out before I get there, lol. Be blessed all and enjoy the weather! :-)

Day 49: Lemon Drop 5k and Race Results

Sorry about the delay in posting. I took care of my sister all day yesterday and the day before I was just in a foul mood and couldn't shake it. But today I'm in a great mood and can't wait to post more on my race today.

My fiancé and I went to Frontenac, MO this morning (about a 20 minute drive from my house in St Charles, MO) for the Lemon Drop 5k. We saw our guys at S2 there, and we decided to enter the drawing for a BMR Bliss Go Pack. Sadly, I didn't win even though I had my fingers, toes, and everything else crossed, lol. :-D We were the last to pace, since we run around 20 minute miles on a good day, but we were off. I ran some of the race (about 0.75 to 1 mile worth) and walked a lot of it. I wanted to pace myself so that I wouldn't tire in the middle of the race and have to not finish. The fiancé was ahead of me most of the time but I was okay with that... most of the time. I brought my Sports Beans and was popping them periodically throughout. They were a little sour but otherwise pretty awesome. :-) They definitely gave me the energy to get done with the race.

The final results were as follows:

Me- Time: 57:15 Pace: 18:26/mi Rank: 154
Bryan- Time: 56:45 Pace: 18:16/mi Rank: 33

I think we may have come in dead last in both our divisions but the fun thing was that we didn't finish last overall and we had an awesome time. We both missed our Phormula-1 shakes because they ran out but I may go hassle my supplement guy sometime this week and get some of that stuff. I would love something for a recovery shake. :-) But I digress. Bryan had some bread and oranges at the free food counter but I didn't, lol. :-D

Here is a photo of me from after the race. Not the most flattering of photos, but hey, I don't mind:

Yes, I'm wearing ACTUAL running clothes this time. :)

 

I am so glad I got to do this, and Bryan and I will be running a 5k later in December called the Hot Chocolate 5k. We are both totally looking forward to that one because there will be a chocolate expo and all kinds of goodies. And that one will be more crowded and a bit flatter. And cold, I'm sure, lol. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I will be doing some chemistry homework to catch up with the stuff I missed this weekend, and having an awesome protein shake for dinner since I missed mine this morning. (We went to Denny's, for shame! But at least I got the healthy egg white omelet.) Be blessed all and enjoy the nice weather!  

Day 46: Why I am Doing Awesome

I'm missing all you guys on my blog! Please, feel free to visit anytime.

I am doing awesome today, because I decided to take a rest day. I have a Chemistry lab that meets on Thursday mornings and it often makes it very difficult to run if it's hot out. Plus, my parents are taking me out for a belated birthday dinner and it will be a bit difficult to work out in the evening. (I will be just a touch full, lol.) So I decided today would be a work-on-homework-and-run errands day, AKA a rest day. :-) Normally, I don't feel comfortable doing rest days. I am always on the move and sitting down and relaxing is a bit of a foreign concept to me. Despite all that, when I do sit down and rest, I always feel infinitely better for it. So, I'm enjoying my rest day and will especially enjoy getting out on the running track bright and early Friday morning. :-)

I got my race packet from Lululemon this morning and got my fiancé's too. We have decided not to run this entire 5k but walk part of the way and run the last leg. I was expecting a T-shirt but there was a misprint on Big River's website, and there is no t-shirt. It looks to be a pretty nondescript run, which is what you get when it's free, I suppose. Maybe there will be a little prize when we get to the finish but I have my doubts. There is also a post-run yoga session, but I have my doubts that my fiancé will go into a yoga class. It's not really his thing, plus he feels awkward going to a yoga class where he will be in the minority with regards to gender. :-D We were super bummed out that we didn't get to do a repeat Glow Run this year, but they are changing the lineup and making it very much a meander around, get drunk, and not really race type of run. But we are doing the Hot Chocolate 15k/5k in December, so we will have an official, fun type of run later in the year. Then I'm doing a 10k in March at the college, so that will be fun. :-)

While I'm at it, here's a "sweat pic" from today's rest day:

Not really me, obviously, but it's so stinkin' cute I just couldn't resist sharing it.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I've got more homework before I go out, lol. Be blessed all! :-)

Day 45: R is for Runner

It's been a busy day, or rather, a busy evening and a ho-hum type of day.

Except for my run, that is. I finally passed the 2-mile mark after about 15 minutes of extra running just so I could get the number where I wanted it. For those of you who don't know, I run C25K for the beginning of the run, around 25-30 minutes, and then I spend the last few minutes cooling down, and then I go into power sprint intervals. Basically I pick a point in the park and say I want to go from point A to point B, one landmark to the next, and I run it at full tilt. Then when I get done, I walk a few minutes and repeat. It's a lot of fun and changes up the monotony of run, walk, repeat. It was a beautiful run this morning, it had just rained a few hours ago and it was muggy for sure but not too hot. And running at 7:30 am it was dead as a doornail. Eventually once I got through the first part of my run people started showing up. The good thing about the park is that everyone is really nice, and often the same people show up more than once. There's this adorable old couple with two yappy dogs that always say hello to me in the morning. There's also another old man who wears an old camo marine cap that blasts oldies out of the speaker in his cell phone. He is there almost every day as well. I haven't really introduced myself or anything, but I notice them and they notice me.

Chemistry homework and chemistry class ruled the latter part of my day, and then I went to see Sue Grafton at Maryville University. I am a huge fan of hers and have been since I was around 13 or 14, when I picked up a copy of A is for Alibi at a bookstore in either Memphis or London, I bought a lot of books in both places when I travelled in Europe. I met her when I was 14 and got my photo with her. If I can ever find my photo with her from 1999 I will post a comparison. My dad took the photo on his cell phone and honestly, I cracked up when I saw it. Sue is looking off to the side at something and I'm kind of half-grinning, half-flinching with my eyes shut. I will definitely cut my dad some slack cause he is older and his eyesight isn't that great, but I have to admit that that picture is hilarious. :-D I would post it on here but for some reason I can't seem to upload it on my phone.

Tomorrow I am going for an early morning (VERY early morning) run and I am going to my Chemistry lab. I am determined that this time I will not forget I have a lab in the morning, and make it on time or early. Then I will finally go to Lululemon and pick up my race packet, as I have been neglecting it all week. The 5k is in four days, and I will be sure to post my t-shirt and bib and race outfit, even though it is somewhat nondescript. :-)

I hope everyone has a wonderful evening. I am going to hit the hay, as I am getting tired. Be blessed all!

Day 44: Why I Am an Overcomer

Some days, God tests me.

The following is very spiritually involved, so if you're not interested in that sort of thing, I give you permission to overlook that bit. But still read on, you may learn something.

----
I am a huge Joyce Meyer fan. I think she is hysterical, and preaches a good message most times she speaks. I admit there are times when I've turned off the program because I wasn't yet ready to hear what she had to say. But most of the time, she brings it on home.

God seems to like it when I watch Joyce on the internet and seems to give me "homework" after viewing one of her shows. As in, well you've learned the lesson mentally, so let's see if you can put it into practice.

One of my favorite lessons by her is not to become offended at oneself. To become determined that no matter what kind of things are thrown in your way, to not become derailed from the purpose that God has called you to. She advocates being active and articulating things aloud, and she mentions having a very determined sit-down with herself and saying that she is NOT going to be kept by the devil from enjoying her life. She said there was a shift in her attitude from that point on.

Well, I experienced a more benign but similar episode today. For whatever reason, this nagging feeling inside me was that I was a loser and I was a horrible runner. I don't usually think that, normally I'm so excited to be running I can look past the fact that I'm slow. It nagged on and when I got to the hard part of my run,  I was fighting it and just so disappointed that I was, in my opinion, too slow. Eventually, it got intense and I just said to myself for about 5 minutes, "I'm an overcomer," like the Mandisa song. Sometimes I had to say it to myself more harshly than other times, sometimes I had to yell (to myself) at the devil that he was NOT going to take me down. About halfway through my cool down my insistence took, and I realized that yes, I was an overcomer, and yes, I was good at what I did. I decided to continue walking and put in an additional 35 second run at high speed. My total was 1.70 miles, 495 kcals, and 40:18, 9 minutes over the C25K time. :-) I also found out that I had beaten my original fast pace on the run at 2.7 mph instead of my usual 2.3.

After my run. Day 32/50 and 23.2 miles into the Lazy Girl Marathon! :-)

 

 

Mandisa has also put out a series of pictures on her website, and I have used one of those repeatedly on my page. This is the picture in question:

I can't even tell you how many times I've felt that way on the elliptical, lol. :-) But it just means that everyone who has been on a weight loss journey at some point has felt like that picture. But thank God that we are overcomers and have Someone who has overcome even the worst of circumstances. So, if you feel like giving up sometimes, remember that Christ has made us more than conquerors and we can overcome anything! :-)

I hope everyone has a terrific day. True to form, I'm going back to chem homework, lol. Be blessed everyone! :-)

Day 43: The Answer to all Life's Questions... and a day

Gotta love a good Hitchhiker's Guide reference.

It's been another day. Nothing too spectacular. Decided to go running while my mom and sister went to their water aerobics class, and got in a 1.80 mile, 37 minute run on the dreadmill. I averaged about 18:45 a mile, which isn't too bad. I even got in a 4.0 mph run for 60 seconds at the end. I'm trying to increase that 4.0 mph run at the end too, it feels so good to get that last burst of energy out! After my run, I hit the stationary bike for a 6.14 mile bike ride. I only rode 26 minutes because I figured Mom and my sis would be done by then, but they took an entire hour to get dressed! Only in my family I reckon. :-)

I went to Target and got some real running clothes, as opposed to my cotton shirt and shorts that I normally wear. Per usual, my hair is a state of disarray, otherwise I would post it in two seconds. I got a green running shirt and a pair of black compression capris. I tried on two different pairs and ended up liking those better. I got some prepackaged dinners and would have gotten a ton of hummus and pretzels (my favorite guilty pleasure) but then I found out the entire refrigerated section in the store had lost power and the food had spoiled the day before, and there was no food at all in the refrigerated section! :-( Thankfully I was able to find some plums that weren't refrigerated and I had one of those as a snack.

I got my flu shot, which was relatively quick and painless. I never have been particularly put out by needles or shots, after having bloodwork done for years for a med I used to be on, they don't phase me at all and I don't particularly get nervous before getting a shot. The only problem is we ended up waiting almost an hour to get it because we weren't entered into the system. Then they found out that my mom and my sister had different insurance plans and that held them up longer, until FINALLY we got our flu shots and were able to leave. A NSV for me in this regard: while I was waiting, my mom and my sister got 3 bags of cookies and proceeded to polish most of them off. I didn't touch a single cookie. I was quite fine with my plum and flavored water (well, with the plum anyhoo, the Life Water was ridiculously sweet and after I drank it 3 times and cringed each time I decided to throw it away). Before I would have inhaled the cookies along with them.

I was in a bad mood the rest of the day though, family drama is always there. I thought it was just that, but... (TMI alert!) Aunt Flo came to visit. I think that's pretty sweet cause before I would skip for months at a time, but this time it was on time. :-) It's the first time since I lost so much weight in 2010 that I've seen happen. I'm also thrilled because that means the weight will start to fall off. I actually don't have issues gaining during, just before AF, and then the weight falls off. It would also explain why I was eating like a maniac this weekend, lol. :-)

Well, I gotta go do some Chemistry homework awesome-sauce, so I will get my butt off Blogger and go do it, lol. I hope everyone has a fantastic day and is blessed continually! :-)

Day 42: Happy Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me.

I celebrated my 29th birthday with not a lot of pomp and circumstance. My fiancé and I went running this morning, clocking 1.6 miles. Bryan is a super fast runner and I was impressed. He ran the first leg of C25K and didn't even break a sweat. We went to the mall, where he got my gift: pearl earrings with a small diamond that he got from the same place we got my engagement ring. We ate at Charley's subs, where we got some small subs and happily noshed away. :-)

A snack at the mall.

 

We then went mini-golfing at Swing Around Fun Town, the St Charles location, where we got a nice 18 holes in, barely beating the rain as we got into the car. It was a lot of fun and it became quite obvious that I hadn't played in awhile. We ended up hitting the ball too hard and too soft and got our butts handed to us by the kids in front of us. Still, we had fun and plan on doing it again sometime soon. :-)

 

I strike the golf ball sort of in the right direction.

My gorgeous fiancé poses in front of a waterfall.



I don't look half bad myself.

 

 

We then went bowling as our last stop. It was actually quite amusing because we were next to seven kids about 9 or 10 years old, all boys, and two grown-ups. They were hurling the balls across the lane and they were coming down with a resounding CRASH each time. One kid got the idea and threw the ball so hard it went over the bumpers and got stuck in the gutter. I have never laughed so hard in my life, and Bryan was having a hard time keeping a straight face as well. Eventually a well-meaning employee suggested he use a 7-lb bowling ball if he was going to chuck it across the line, and so they made a beeline for the pink bowling ball I was using. I didn't know whether to snatch it back or just laugh that 7 boys were using a pink ball that belonged to a girl. :-D I decided it would be less drama just to laugh it off, and then the dad (or the chaperone) returned with a second pink ball.

 

The pink ball in question.

Photobombed! Bryan takes it in stride.

 



I had a fun birthday but I am definitely glad we are only having a few celebrations. I believe last year we went out at least 6 times and by the end of it we were all feeling kind of bloated and gross, lol. :-) Next Saturday I am going out with my future mom-in-law and on Sunday Bryan and I are running the 5k. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. Me, I'm going back to chemistry land and enjoying the view. Be blessed all!

Day 41: New Running Records

I did NOT want to run this morning. Do you ever have those mornings, where the body is somewhat willing and the spirit says forget it? That was me this morning. I made excuses, numerous ones that were somewhat satisfying to me, but none of them really fit the mood I was in.

Let me explain.

I can't get past 207. I have been trying to get past 207 for some time, and it goes up to 208 as soon as it gets there. No clue why, I am almost positive this time it was water weight after my lunch date with my best friend, but still, after a few days of consistent weight loss, it gets stuck at 207 again! I'm determined to push past that number, even if it takes a little tweaking of my diet.

Anyhoo, seeing that number ticked me off and I did NOT want to run. I just wanted to take a rest day and veg.  But like I said, none of them really fit the bill. I decided I would just quit my drama and lace up my shoes for my run.

I ran C25K W4D1, which was composed of a 3-minute jog followed by a 90-second break, then a 5-minute jog followed by a 2.5 minute walk, repeated twice. I'm not going to lie, that was a difficult run. There were times when I was panting so hard I thought people would think I was having an asthma attack. Still, I made it through, walked for an extra 5 minutes, and then ran back to my car, for a grand total of 37:45 or so. I burned 464 calories and walked/ran 1.55 miles.

That was a new record for me. :-) I have only run about 1.32-1.46 in the past, even with the shorter bursts of running when I was at a higher (much higher, lol) speed. I was excited for that, and even more so that I got out and broke records when I was in a horrible mood. Which goes to show you, even if it sucks sometimes, you can still get it done. :-)

Me after the run that almost wasn't. Ignore the lip funkiness, I get it every time I run.

 

I am sooo looking forward to the rest of my day as well! The fiancé is spending the night for my birthday and we will go out tonight and tomorrow. :-) I think we are going bowling and out to eat. And he apparently has an awesome present for me that he got through the mail that apparently has his name on it. :-D Either way, I'm totally looking forward to seeing him and getting some interesting presents. Today while I'm hanging out on my own (fiancé has to work til 4) I will probably goof around and do some chem homework. :-) I seem to be nice and ahead on my chem homework, and even got a 95 on my exam! I do need to do some makeup work on the lab though, cause I was a goof and totally forgot I had class! Way to go, Shelly. Either way, got some work to make up, lol. :-)

 

I hope everyone has a fantastic day! I know I will. Be blessed, and don't be stressed! xx

Day 40: Woohoo, Forty Days! :)

It's been 40 days since I started this journey (well, give-or-take, since the beginning of the blog is very infrequent posting). And it's been life-changing. I hit 207.8 yet again after catching a little flack from the scale in the past few weeks. I'm kind of weird like that, I go up and down, have huge weight losses then go up and down and finally back down again to another huge loss. Right now I'm kind of in the huge losses department and continually losing, maybe about a pound a day or so.

Today was a mild cheat day in that I actually ate out today. I had half a sandwich and some clam chowder in a fun-sized bowl, it was actually pretty good though I was disappointed they didn't have the tomato basil soup. That one is my absolute favorite. Anyhoo, I rarely eat out or really have much money to spend, and 99 percent of the time I don't need it.

My best friend bought me some soap and a cute little caddy to put it in, which honestly looks better than the blatantly obvious soap on the bathroom counter. :-D In fact, I have been at my parents' house so infrequently that that soap has lasted me over 2 years! I would have kept it even longer except that my parents thought it was empty when they came down and ransacked the downstairs. (Don't ask, you'll save yourself a lot of hassle.) It's the same brand of soap but a different "flavor."

Fall soapy goodness.

 

 

I also went to Loft and tried on some jeans. I tried on a size 14 and they were ridiculously close to fitting but they didn't want to zip up when I put them on. I figure if I can lose another few pounds then they will fit. I've fit into Old Navy's size 14 pants in the past so I may be able to go down a size. But Old Navy's stuff is ridiculously vanity-sized. They cut the pants bigger and put a smaller size on it so people will come back. I never entirely got that, and it struck me as being not too terribly honest. Imagine your disappointment when you go to another shop and the same size is airtight on you! lol

My size 16 skinny jeans. :-)

This weekend I am hanging out with my fiancé and we are celebrating the Friday the 13th (special fun anniversary for us because we met on Friday, May 13, 2011. And because we're weird that way we often celebrate Friday the 13th by going out to do something fun.) and my birthday. :-) It feels so weird to be kissing cousins with being 30 years old. I always thought I would have been more successful at this point in my life, but I dunno. I have a weird life that I won't get into extensively, for more information refer to the previous posts on the blog. Either way, I'm getting my life back on track. Hopefully there will be no more sabotaging from certain members of my family.

Well, I'm about to wrap it up. Going to eat dinner, do chem homework, and work out some, not necessarily in that order. :-) Hope everyone has a good day and I will be back later tonight, hopefully.