Hi everyone, 11 page views today? Man you are all amazing. :-)
I finally got on after one day, so technically this is day nine!
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I went to yoga class this morning, reluctantly. I have not been to an exercise class in ages, and generally speaking I don't like them. I'm always the token fat chick in the class; sweating, not in proper workout clothes, and just somewhat of a spectacle to myself and others. So, needless to say, I generally avoid them like the plague. But today, I decided to be different. I got in, and true to form I was the sweaty fat chick (but there was an old guy in my class who was borderline flashing his backside on the bending moves, so I felt better, lol) but I felt different this time.
Sure, I was screaming inside my head, things I prefer not to repeat, but I feel like I made the right decision trying to take care of my body. Ever since I took some serious steps towards reevaluating my life, I'm starting to realize that without exception that everyone starts out that way. They might not be as heavy as I was and am, but they feel out of place, like the token something-or-another. They feel like everyone is staring at them and judging them when in reality everyone feels the same way about the way they look and could care less what you look like. In fact, I saw someone more overweight than me totally killing it on the elliptical and my immediate thought was, "Get it girl!" I was so psyched to see her kicking ass like that. :-)
I found something kind of cool today when I was taking my supplements this morning. I noticed on the bottom of the 1st Phorm container that holds the Thyro-Drive I take every morning there is printed in script, "Never Settle." I had never noticed it before and thought it was super cool. As I fought my usual inertia, I kept repeating these words to myself, "Never settle." And I think that after some evaluation of my own life there is some truth and motivation in that phrase.
I have settled my whole life. For crappy jobs, abusive family members and boyfriends, for programs in school I didn't enjoy in the slightest, for being unkempt and overweight my whole life. I was always saying "Yes," to someone or something without considering my own opinion. I just continually let myself go without considering that I could take my life in another direction. Maybe today I can decide for once not to settle and to say "Yes," to myself.
Didn't think you would get poetic turn of phrase, didya? Well luckily, today you did. I hope you all have a great day and remember not to settle!
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